September 28, 2008

GOOD NEWS IN THE FACE OF PORNOGRAPHY--PART 2


Porn is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome because not only is the body addicted to its own chemicals/hormones, but at times, no outside stimulus is needed, one has only to recall the pornographic images already stored in one's brain.


IT'S NOT FAIR.


Another reason porn is one of the most difficult addictions is the incredible, diabolical ease with which one gets started. You don't have to buy anything. It's not illegal. You don't have to be of age. You don't have to leave the house. It's portable if you do leave the house. It's available 24/7. And if you use a computer at all, you're going to see porn whether you want to or not. You WILL be solicited. And if you do SEEK porn in a moment of weakness, all you have to do is type four letters and hit enter. Done.


IT'S NOT FAIR.


With alcohol, you may or may not be an alcoholic. You'll find out if you start drinking. With porn, everyone is a pornaholic because everyone has a body, everyone is a sexual being. All it takes is ONE LOOK. One of the most basic human actions. Looking. Vision. Seeing. Since men are aroused visually, porn is much more addictive for them. However, WOMEN, too, are increasingly becoming addicted to porn, and this also needs to come out in the open, lest women think that THEIR porn addiction is worse, more "unforgiveable," less feminine somehow.


IT'S NOT FAIR.


Porn taps into the deepest, most fundamental longing of the human person: to be loved, body and soul. To be affirmed as man or woman, body and soul.


IT'S NOT FAIR.


Porn ruins the best gift God gave us: each other. The gift of woman to man and man to woman. Or, as JP2G says: woman FOR man and man FOR woman. What could be more diabolical? "Diabolical" means literally to "split," "divide."


IT'S NOT FAIR.


Porn addiction is a "new" way (because of its newfound availability and prevalence) for men to abandon their families.


IT'S NOT FAIR.


WHAT DO YOU DO IN SPORTS WHEN AN ATHLETE DOESN'T PLAY FAIR? YOU ELMINATE THEM. YOU DISQUALIFY THEM. IF YOU KNEW FROM THE START THIS PERSON WASN'T GOING TO PLAY FAIR, YOU'D NEVER EVEN LET THEM ON THE TEAM.
SO, WITH PORN (WHICH DOESN'T PLAY FAIR)--DON'T TAKE THE FIRST DRINK. JUST DON'T.


But how can we prevent that first, unsolicited drink that gets poured down our throats against our will when we're 10 years old?


It's not going to be easy.


Should we head for the hills and unplug and opt out of the media culture that we're all swimming in and depending on in so many ways? That's a decision that everyone has to make for themselves and their families. And is it even possible?


Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, a psychologist has this profound (paraphrased) insight: Even though we may claim we believe in free will, we have been so brainwashed by popular psychology--Freudian and other deterministic schools of thought--that we don't really believe in the possibility of humans to change, and we hamstring ourselves from the get-go. Our willpower has been seriously undermined by ourselves. (I'm not saying that addicts can be healed by applying sheer willpower, but that addictions can be averted and thwarted, in part, by willpower, starting with the RECOGNITION of our willpower.)


If you opt to stay in the media culture and use computers, cable/dish TV, cell phones, etc., (all porn gateways) here are some action items. If they don't work, we need to rework them, because we'll lose the farm. We'll lose everything, as porn addicts are able to tell us firsthand.


--Pray. Live a sacramental life.
--Communicate your values about sexuality in an open, positive way with your children of all ages. Constantly.
--Be honest with your spouse about any and all sexual failings as they happen.
--Get help immediately for porn problems.
--Instruct yourself, your family and others in Theology of the Body.
--Instruct yourself, your familiy in Media Literacy and Media Mindfulness.
--Communicate about media with your children. Constantly.
--Get a serious porn blocker for your computer / TV.
--Have TVs and computers in public areas of your home. Have designated times for use.
--Train your children to use their willpower.
--Talk to your children about porn.
--Have your children report to you any porn that makes its way into your home.
--Consecrate yourselves to the Blessed Virgin Mary.
--Communicate constantly with your children about the true love that God wants for them and how to attain it.


Unfortunately, porn is a part of all of our lives now. (It's SO not fair.) Deal with it.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:02 PM

    S. Helena,

    Here is another good blocker for porn on the web: X3 Watch.

    In prayer,
    John

    ReplyDelete
  2. A great accountability software that is not just a technological solution to a porn problem, but a relational solution: it brings other trusted friends into the addictive cycle and helps people to break free!

    I got a chance to share my testimony about porn addiction on Dr. Kevin Skinner's radio show not too long ago: http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/11/12/breaking-free-of-porn-addiction/

    ReplyDelete
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