June 19, 2010


Do you like to talk?
Do you chew with your mouth open?
Do you have a cold?
Do you have strep throat?
Do you have a contagious disease?
Do you have diarrhea?
Do you have verbal diarrhea?
Are you going to sleep as soon as you sit down? Are you a deep sleeper? Are you going to descend into a deep sleep in the aisle seat? Have you taken any drugs to help you sleep? Will you be able to be roused when others in your row have to go to the bathroom?
Have you taught your child the words "softly," "decibel," and "I'm right next to you"?
Are you chatty?
Do you have ants in your pants?
Do you have ants in your pants and are going to keep slamming your back against your seat ensuring that the passenger behind you can't eat, read, write, or engage in any other non-seismic activities?
Are you also going to shake the seat next to you with your body slams? Just how many seats can you enervate with one body slam?
Are you loquacious?
Are you going to put your seat all the way back for the duration of the flight so that the laptop user behind you will have a black-and-blue pelvis and something worse than carpal tunnel syndrome as they attempt to type from within their chest cavities?
Are you on standby for first class?
If you don't get put in first class, will you still behave as though you ARE in first class: calling the flight attendant every two minutes, asking for special vintages of wine, talking loudly on your cell phone to Japan during takeoff and landing?
Can you read body language such as, "person reading," "person busy," "person is not laughing at my jokes," "person doesn't feel like talking," "person doesn't feel like listening," "person is not listening"?
What is your understanding of the term "personal space"?
Do enjoy sun glare at 30,000 feet?
Are you garrulous?
Do you snore? Do you have a deviated septum? Do you snort while you sleep? Chortle? Drool? Lean? Lean dramatically?
Do you have chronic cough, wheeze, bronchitis, asthma, emphysema, catarrh, black lung?
Do you cover your mouth when you cough? When you sneeze?
Are you sick?
Are you talkative?
Did you have garlic for lunch?
Do you have halitosis?
Rephrase this sentence in your own words: "Please allow those with connecting flights to disembark the aircraft first."

In the following situation, what would you do? There are two of you in a row. There is one pillow and one blanket. Would you:

a) take the pillow and blanket for yourself
b) sit on them for extra padding
c) throw them on the floor to get them out of the way
d) throw them on the floor, remove your shoes and use them as a footrest
e) other

Can you follow basic instructions?
Can you read?
Are you comfortable "opening up" to perfect strangers?
Are you basically an inconsiderate, obnoxious, selfish person?
Do you have any empathy at all for your fellow human beings?

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1 comment:

  1. I had faecal breath odour for YEARS. Talked to many doctors who took my money then show me the door....I finally had a friend who suffers too, send me a eBook he bought 5 or 6 months ago he ask me how his breath smelt and didn’t smell a thing. He said the eBook amongst much else had him stop eating dairy food/ soft drinks and coffee/tea. So I’m like reading it and doing all the stuff it says to do. Thinking this has to be bull. But after a few days my tongue started turning red and felt nice. I worked up the courage to ask a friend how my breath smelt and he’s like I don’t smell anything. Now I’m thinking all those years of humiliation and I could have solved it ffs! There’s a site about it called OralTech Labs. When I read the site I felt sorry for the guy as he clearly had a real tough time with his bad breath, which pretty much ruined his school years. At lest he found a way to beat his bad breath and is letting others know how. Post this everywhere you can to help people!! Thanks R.J