September 11, 2011


[intrusive comments by Sr. Helena in brackets]

p. 174—“The Metaphysics of Shame”—We want to grasp at things we love, at things that promise us satisfaction, etc. We want them immediately. It’s only natural because we are made in the image of God and we tend toward God. The highest understanding of the concept of “eros” is our striving for God Himself.

Although masculinity and femininity are found outside of human persons, it is not in any way as highly “developed” as it is in human persons.

Q: Can we even SAY that animals have “masculinity and femininity” or only maleness and femaleness?

There is one fundamental reality of all reality: the spousal mystery—God going out of Himself to all Creation.

So many faithful Catholics can’t bear to think/speak of God or divine things in terms of SPOUSALITY. [We are DEEPLY, DEEPLY CONVINCED THAT SEX IS DIRTY, UNHOLY AND WE’RE SO USED TO THE TWO THINGS BEING SEPARATED IN OUR CULTURE. Satan divides. Satan has convinced us that sex is HIS. Why wouldn’t he confuse us about the MOST important thing of all? Why wouldn’t he appropriate to himself the MOST vital thing of all?]

Abstract art, rock music, etc., is minimalizing/reducing everything down to its raw materials and treating those raw materials as though they were the thing itself, the end/goal/ultimate. [There’s nothing more.]

A “contraceptive mentality” is actually a “contraceptive worldview” about EVERYTHING.

p. 88 BJP2G explains “sympathy”—“experiencing together,” mutuality

“friendship”—sharing life together

“goodwill”—(we should do this to everyone and for everyone) couples need to always treat each other this way—it’s a basic level. IF WE DO WHAT’S BEST FOR THE OTHER, IT’S ALWAYS THE BEST FOR ME, TOO. Is this one-sided? What if the other person isn’t doing what’s best for me? It doesn’t mean that you’re a victim, because letting someone abuse you IS NOT GOOD FOR THE OTHER PERSON! Enabling others in their bad habits, evil behavior, etc., is never a good thing. [So, it’s kind of foolproof: If you are truly doing what’s good for the other person, you are helping them become a better person, which MEANS FOR THEM TO PRACTICE GOODWILL TOWARD YOU ALSO.]


1. Attraction
2. Desire
3. Sympathy
4. Friendship
5. Goodwill
6. True Love
7. Betrothed Love

“Betrothed love”—is totally integrated love (body and soul). It is the highest form of love. It is the highest virtue, lived according to the primary elements of the human spirit: freedom and truth.

[Cohabitating couples STILL NEED to CONSUMMATE their MARRIAGE once they get married!! (No matter how much sex they’ve already had.) It IS new for them. It is ontologically different. This is a way to put it in a positive light!]

Living together is NOT a total gift. [I think those living together would be the first to admit this, also.] Living together is often out of fear of wanting to forecast the future. There is no way to “try” marriage. [No test drive! You “buy the car” sight unseen.] Young people actually think they are being responsible by “trying” marriage, because we have given them nothing else, no religious instruction on this issue at all.

[There are now “stayovers”—just living together 3 or 4 days a week because the “couple” still wants their solitude, their own apartments, bank accounts, “separate life,” and are not necessarily heading toward living together or marriage at all.]

In the media, the steamiest, most enjoyable sex scenes are almost always between non-married people. We have to make MARRIAGE attractive and desirable (as it is)—it’s just not easy!!!

Women accept all this stuff more than men because they know they will benefit the most!!! Unless they have bought the lie that to benefit the most they must be like a man. OR take care of themselves without any reference to any man. But both men and women are interdependent.

Why did Satan go for woman? Our receptivity, our centrality to love and life. [And our lust for male power. “Eve saw that the fruit was beautiful and good for knowledge.”]

Satan inseminated Eve with bad seed.

SHAME can actually be a positive thing because is protects what is most precious.

p. 175—BJP2G talks about cultures that go about almost naked (but have no shame about it). But they would have shame in other contexts regarding their bodies. European cultures have come in to these cultures and told them they were bad to show their bodies, to put on more clothes, which caused a whole new set of problems.

Our culture today could never go around naked because we are so lustful (not because our BODIES THEMSELVES are actually bad)! We do not encounter sexual shame in children because their minds have not grasped sexual values yet. They develop (healthy) sexual shame as part of their developing personality. They realize these body parts are special, they watch how people react, they are taught to protect themselves.

p. 176 Women need to realize that men are hard-wired to visual sensuality. Women are more hard-wired to emotionality.

HOW DOES BJP2G know MORE about sexuality than those who are sexually active? Because sex is of God and he was a man of God. AND a mystic. AND he counseled young married couples (his students/friends)! AND he had a body. AND an imagination. AND he was an actor, a poet, a writer. He was immersed in life, in the human drama. [There’s a great saying: “I am human, and nothing human is truly foreign to me.” Humans have the great ability of vicariousness.]


Fr. David Knight—for women to dress provocatively is like a reverse rape. You entered into his psyche uninvited and now he has to deal with it.

[Men could tell women: “help us (help you).” OR women could insist on dressing any way they want (and be unfair to men and tempt men to abuse them or worse). A man can NEVER excuse himself that he was provoked if he abuses a woman, but women are playing a dangerous game, putting themselves in danger if they DO provoke.]

[ “SURE, YOU CAN DRESS ANY WAY YOU WANT, BUT YOU SHOULDN’T.” –This was said by a French man to a sweatsuited American woman on the streets of Paris. The French ALWAYS dress up when they go out. The men for the women and the women for the men. It’s like a courtesy.]

“The future of civilization depends on what he will be for her, and what she will be for him.”

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