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MOVIES: "WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING"

I thought I was gonna hafta hate on this film, but lo and behold I am pretty much lovin’ on it!

First of all, this is a very well-constructed film. Excellence in filmmaking. Excellence in COMEDIC filmmaking which is NOT easy. Excellence in ENSEMBLE filmmaking which is even harder. THIS is how it’s done, people! Hollywood never ceases to amaze when they get it right.

Second of all, this is slightly more a guy/Dad’s film than a gal/Mom’s film, so I assumed the writer was male. Nope. Two chicks. I wonder if they asked guy friends “what they would say or do” in a given situation, because the guy parts are the funniest.

Why was I all set to hate on this film? Because I thought it was going to be another one of those: “Babies actually emasculate men” films. “Being married is a drag, and being a Dad is even worse” films. But, it’s not! This is a laugh-a-minute, fun ride of a film that follows several couples through pregnancies (some quite unplanned ) and births (with one adoption). Each character is more unique and well-developed than in most single-couple romantic films! Each scene is working overtime to give us lots of information and delight us with all kinds of hilarious “touches.” The acting is superb, the transitions are superb, the directing and editing, the dialogue and plot points are superb. Did I mention that the acting is superb? The cast simply out-acts each other scene after scene.

Is it crude? Oh yeah, but mostly in the beginning, and then it becomes much sweeter and realer (and stays just as funny BECAUSE it’s being so honest). I’m still surprised that women wrote this because the writing is so tough-minded—but kudos to Shauna Cross (“Whip It”) and Heather Hach (“Freaky Friday”) for a smart, tight, fine job. British director, Kirk Jones ("Waking Ned Devine," "Nanny McPhee") is scrumtrulescent.

Remember, the whole movie is about sex because it's about pregnancy and babies.

As is the custom today, things are mostly done backwards: jump in the sack immediately, have the baby, get married.

Is this a “Theology of the Body” film? Indirectly, yes. It shows the best of what’s possible in male/female relationships and the joy of being parents when both partners are “in it” no matter what. It shows taking life on the chin, the sorrows with the joys, turning lemons into lemonade, and having a healthy sense of humor about it all. Babies are called “miracles” many times, only once or twice with a hint of sarcasm.

The best part of the movie is the REAL issues, problems, and seemingly irreconcilable differences between the couples. Dilemmas that in other films (and perhaps real life) would be deal-breakers. But the “What To Expect” couples stay the course, and the big blowout arguments and all-too-typical fights are either resolved or semi-resolved in extremely healthy ways. We are served up that genuine relationships are an ongoing process of give and take. We just do NOT see this. Anywhere. And we need it so badly. Children of divorce do not know how to deal with marital conflict and they’re terrified of it. “What To Expect” handles it fabulously. Bravo.

“What To Expect” totally prepares one for the grossness and pain and “imperfectness” and uncontrollability of the whole process. It even shows how both men and women need to overcome all their false notions of being parents, but also false “expectations” of male/female relationships.

Not to be missed is the hysterical Daddy Dude Group that meets Saturday mornings in the park. Let’s just say it’s male-adaptive parenting. Emphasis definitely NOT on hovering, helicopter-parenting. Much more laid back. Guys just do parenting differently. MUCH differently.

There is warmth in this film, and it seems to be coming from a good place. The marital arrangements may be heterodox, but the “spirit of the law” is observed. Moral of the story: “When it comes to babies, there’s no such thing as ‘ready.’”

DISCLAIMER: Some feedback I got on this review said I wasn't clear enough about the wrongness of sex outside marriage. I do not believe in sex outside marriage in any form. Sex speaks the language of "you alone forever." Sex outside marriage is a kind of a lie spoken with the body. It is damaging and destructive. Sexual love is FUNDAMENTAL, FREE, FAITHFUL (marriage), FULL AND FRUITFUL.


OTHER STUFF:

--E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-I-N-G.

--This movie reminded me of a time recently when I was with a bunch of home-school Moms who were trying to outdo each other in “small child ickiness” stories. They talked about having barf buckets around the house and at the kids’ bedsides (what is it with the peewees’ digestive tracts?) The Mom who won the Groddy-to-the-Max Award was the Mom who told of holding her baby over her head and the kid puked into HER mouth.

--I have friends who’ve been married 15 years. Their younger college-age friends greatly admire their marriage. But when the college students see them argue, they get scared and disillusioned: “But I thought you loved each other! But you’re fighting!” My married couple friends take this opportunity to tell them: “Yes—we’d better be fighting or our marriage isn’t real! Lovers’ quarrels!” Young people can tend to think that any kind of discord means “road to divorce.”

--“What To Expect When You’re Expecting” might be good “required viewing” for marriage prep courses!

--There are quite a few great side characters, too. All fleshed out. Well inserted, well used. Great, great filmmaking.

--Interesting how today everyone talks like a scientist: IVF, genetics, DNA, etc.

--Abortion is simply not an option. Not on the table.

--Some great affirmations of the need to man-up to fatherhood. And loving fatherhood.

--“What to Expect” gets so real. Says what people are really thinking and feeling. And it’s not the “awful truth.” It’s a pretty beautiful truth.

--It’s OK to fight and feel crappy and sick and be scared and make mistakes in this whole new world of parenting!

--Dennis Quaid!

--The golfcarts!

--Margaritaville!

--Trophy wife as heroine!

--The ovulation app.

--“Babies can smell fear.”

--I would actually watch this film again (partly to catch ALL the jokes). And I hardly ever watch films twice.

ZOMBIES VS JESUS TRAILER

MOVIES: "FOR GREATER GLORY"

(stars Andy Garcia, Eva Longoria, Peter O'Toole, Eduardo Verastegui, Oscar Israel)

“For Greater Glory” (“Cristiada” in Mexico) is the untold story of Mexico’s Cristeros War (or “Cristiada”): 1926-1929, between the government and Catholics (the actual involvement of the Mexican clergy/hierarchy and Rome is a little murkier). The events are historically accurate, and certain characters are real personalities from the struggle.

Most Americans have never heard of the Cristeros War, and, it seems, just as many Mexicans are ignorant of it as well! Why? Understandably, it makes 33rd degree Mason President Calles and the Mexican establishment look bad, so it’s not in the history textbooks. His brutal enforcement of anti-clerical laws, expelling of foreign clergy, forbidding of Catholic Masses and sacraments, as well as the outright slaughter of many priests, nuns and laity was extreme repression and a complete denial of religious freedom. Calles thought the Catholics would bow to such pressure. No such thing. The “Cristeros” took up arms and fought back--clergy among them.

“Viva Cristo Rey!” was the rallying cry of the resisters, fighters, and all faithful Catholics. Calles set up a schismatic “patriotic Church” much like the Communists in China today. (Incidentally, Cubans echoed the same allegiance before being put to death by Fidel Castro’s firing squads—see the excellent book “Against All Hope” by Armando Valladares.)

If anyone DOES know about the Cristeros War, it’s usually because they know the story of the daring young Jesuit, Blessed Fr. Miguel Pro, who used to travel around Mexico in disguise to administer the sacraments. In a huge PR blunder, Calles had the executions of priests photographed. He thought this would terrorize and deter Catholics. It had the exact opposite effect. Martyrs were created, AND there was government-issue proof! The photos of Fr. Miguel’s execution by firing squad can easily be found on Google. Fr. Pro is not mentioned in “For Greater Glory,” but no need, there are other amazing stories of heroes and heroines to be told.

The film starts off with a light, “It can’t happen here,” “It won’t be that bad,” blasé attitude and quickly deteriorates into something much more serious. This early progression of events is well-done: swift and devastating, but then the 137-minute film drags on and on. The film begins as a kind of ensemble piece: but gradually becomes Cristero General Velarde‘s (Andy Garcia) story.

This epic’s set direction and costuming is pitch-perfect, but the cinematography—although lush—is distracting and halting with far too much hand-held: in all the wrong places. Poor direction and editing make the fine cast look bad at times—all except for my guy: Oscar Israel* (who plays Victoriano Ramirez) who, for the most part, spun gold out of dross. However, I really have to give the benefit of the doubt to the possible fact that an over-the-top-Mexican-style-melodrama-western (which Americans often find laughable) was what the filmmakers were going for.

The dialogue is extremely simplistic and on-the-nose: “We will need guns! Yes, and ammunition!” “Be careful! You could get killed! Yes! I know I could get killed, but it will be for God and country!” Characters talk mostly in cliches. Several times I almost burst out laughing at very unfunny moments: “War is chess.” (Oh! I thought it was hell!) And Andy Garcia chomping on a cigar with one foot up on a rock in the background waiting for his tough guy line was just too much to bear silently.

We are automatically supposed to feel sympathy for the Catholics and identify with them, which I don’t think was achieved except on an intellectual level. I think many non-Catholics (and even some Catholics!) will bring their “Gripes Against the Catholic Church Baggage” into the cinema with them. But I guess that’s not the filmmakers’ problem. As long as the gripers don’t root for Calles. :]

It’s very important to read the text on the screen at the beginning and end of the film or you will not understand what’s going on OR the impact the Cristiada has had on modern-day Mexico.
What “For Greater Glory” lacks in cinematic prowess, it makes up in ambitiousness to tackle a crucial and uncannily timely subject. Like “October Baby,” which had its own filmmaking issues, “For Greater Glory,” too, succeeds on certain levels and is firmly in the must-see category.

Viva Cristo Rey!
________________
*Oscar Isaac played St. Joseph in “The Nativity Story.” Remember? The guy who stole Mary’s movie? Well I didn’t recognize him in “FGG,” but I just said to myself: “Put this guy in a Western and I will be glued.” (And I don’t even care too much for Westerns.) The way he moved made me believe he was a horseman and gunman, and he’s just totally otherwise riveting.

OTHER STUFF:

--Many Mexicans say that many of the stories of the Cristeros War were handed down to them in their families. Um, nuns fared very, very badly—worse than many laywomen. If you know what I mean.

--The Catholics were called “fanatics” by their enemies.

--Auxiliary Bishop Rojas of Chicago grew up in a region of Mexico where the Cristeros War was particularly intense. He recommends a 3-volume set of books on this era by _______, whom he says gives a good, unbiased account. Yeah, sorry, missed the author’s name.

--The film is doing VERY well at the box office in Mexico (#1 against “Titanic 3D”), but there are rumors that the government wants it shut down.

--Calles pretends to be doing everything for the “dignity of Mexico.”

--Eva Longoria is really pretty here. Much prettier than in “Desperate Housewives.”

--This movie was NOT timed to come out during the religious-freedom-reducing HHS mandate stand-off with the Obama administration. It was made several years ago and got held up with typical movie-delay issues.

--Acting problems or directorial problems? Sometimes the fine actors looked like they were not in good hands and didn’t know what was expected of them. This could also be an editing problem. Cut! Cut! Switch cameras! I couldn’t stop thinking of “Meet Joe Black” (Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins). Although FGG is MUCH better than “Meet Joe Black.” Bad directing/editing can make ANY ACTOR look bad. I actually felt that by the end, Andy Garcia looked like a buffoon. Sorry, but that’s my honest opinion.

--The grandiose soundtrack did not match the action. Sweeping-landscape-type musical segments were used for intimate close-ups between characters. The same strains just ground on and on to the point of monotony, and there’s hardly any silence. Just music, music, music at high-drama setting at all moments. It’s wearisome.

--The director or editor did not seem to know how to get into a scene late and leave it early. A rule of filmmaking. Every scene was grandly set up with pauses, longshots, grand entrances, etc. A very old style of filmmaking. The transitions from one scene to another were random and disjointed which made the whole thing feel episodic, like a bunch of vignettes strung together. There is much mugging, posing and general standing around.

--There is no impetus, no feeling of urgency, no through-line in every scene, no suspense that keeps us watching (only some mild suspense within scenes). It needed DOGEWA (from film school): “What is the character DOing to GEt what he/she WAnts at every single minute?”

--United States government involvement in the war (on Calles’ side) is explicit!

--Knights of Columbus figure in big here! (“Good guys”—in case you were wondering.)

--I got bored several times.

--The intricacies of the war are handled pretty deftly by the screenwriter. Pretty easy to follow.

--Kind of twisted theology/logic at the end when General Velarde talks to warrior priest.

--Lots of gunfights and small battles, but very little gore. The “R” rating is probably for the unusual, not-in-keeping-with-the-rest-of-the-film, violent ending. Hint: Worse than “Hunger Games,” but don’t wanna spoil.

--Absolute must-read about the fierce hatred against the Catholics and the beautiful stories of the faith and sacrifice of the Cristeros, BUT this article insinuates that Popes Benedict XV and Pius XI were part of, favorable to or at least pawns of the Freemasons: http://www.catholicapologetics.info/catholicteaching/history/cristero.htm

DAUGHTERS OF ST. PAUL--VOCATION LIVE-IN: AGES 14-18

ACTS OF THE APOSTLES IN 3 MINUTES

DOG PRAYS FOR MY TALK