WHAT DO THE FRENCH KNOW THAT WE DON'T?

Here's another post from when the continued marches to protect marriage reached 1.8 million people:

http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-people-of-france-have-spoken.html

On January 13, 2013, one million French marched to protect marriage. Vive la difference!

France Marches for Marriage

Led by a provocative comedian, a gay atheist, and a socialist teacher, protest against same-sex marriage draws one million

As many as a million protesters descended upon Paris from every corner of France today to demonstrate their opposition to the Socialist government’s plans to introduce same-sex civil marriage. The Prefecture of Police estimates at least 380,000 participated in the three marches from different starting points that converged at the Champs de Mars in front of the Eiffel Tower. Organisers, however, set up counting stations and claim that, by 7:30pm tonight, over one million protestors had joined the march.

Volunteers charted more than eight hundred vehicles to bring protestors to Paris, while six TGV high-speed trains were reserved for demonstrators. “Had the conditions for chartering trains not been as stringent,” an organiser told Le Figaro “the number could easily have been double.”

“In the freezing cold,” Le Figaro reports, “young, old, and families with children were trying to keep warm waving thousands of pink flags to the jerky rhythm of techno music.”

The entire workforce of the Directorate of Public Order & Traffic was called out to handle the massive demonstration, which forced a Paris Saint-Germain football match to be brought forward. Police believed it would be impossible to secure the area around the Parc des Princes stadium when hundreds of thousands of protesters were expected in the centre of the French capital.

The protest today was organised by the eccentric comedian Frigide Barjot, founder of the Collectif pour l’humanité durable, joined by gay atheist Xavier Bongibault of the association Plus gay sans mariage (“More Gay Without Marriage”), and Laurence Tcheng of La gauche pour le mariage républicaine(“The Left for Republican Marriage”).

The unlike troika claim to have launched “a guerrilla war” against the current Socialist Party government’s proposed same-sex civil marriage legislation. Avoiding the mainstream media, ‘Team Barjot’ went direct to supporters through social media such as Facebook and Twitter, and, countering the government’s branding of same-sex civil marriage as “Mariage pour tous”, named their protest “Le Manif Pour Tous” (‘The Protest for All’), asserting that all children have a right to a mother and father.

If opinion polls are to be believed, the campaign against the proposed law seems to be changing perceptions. From 2000 to 2011, polls showed a steady rise in support for same-sex marriage. In 2012, this percentage began to decline; support for allowing same-sex couples to adopt also fell. Meanwhile, polls claim that 69% prefer same-sex marriage be put to a referendum.

The three marches organised by Le Manif Pour Tous began at separate meeting points before they converged on the Champs de Mars.

The Institut ‘Civitas’ organised a fourth march on its own initiative.

full blogpost: http://www.andrewcusack.com/2013/01/13/le-manif-pour-tous/

"I need a Dad and a Mom!"

"Sex, not gender."

"1 Father + 1 Mother: It's elementary."  /  "Don't Touch Civil Marriage!"

"Frigide Barjot" (far right)

"All born of a man and a woman!"

"1 Dad and 1 Mom is best!"

Tear gas was used against protesters on the second march (March 24, 2013)

These are the "Madelines" who symbolize the French Revolution.
They're holding up France's Civil Code.

(President) Hollande, you will hear us!

"The 'difference' is the key of existence."

GANDALF SEZ...

MOVIE: "SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK"

DO NOT WATCH ANY TRAILER FOR THIS FILM! SOME OF THE WORST TRAILERS EVER MADE!

“Silver Linings Playbook” is a very funny, family (ABOUT families and marriages, not FOR family viewing), terribly feel good film. Screenwriter/director David O. Russell (“Three Kings,” “Flirting with Disaster,” “The Fighter”) wows us again with his realistic, detailed relationships; rapid dialogue and delicious situations that never totally sell out to pure quirk. Russell must be a real actors’ director. He knows how to let them do their thing to the max and really perform (obviously ad-libbing was encouraged). And there’s a lot of Theology of the Body in it, spoken and unspoken (and a little anti-TOB, too). Although mostly TOB, it's as if Hollywood still has to leave the door open for anything-goes, total sexual license.

Set in Philadelphia, Pat (Bradley Cooper in a difficult comedic role that he fills with ease by simply deadpanning and reacting as his character would—usually violently, but it’s funny) is a young married man with mental issues that caused a lengthy stay in a psych ward…AND basically the end of his marriage. But Pat, newly released from the hospital into his parents’ care (his underdog, OCD, sports-obsessed father is played by Robert De Niro with much vulnerability; and his loving, worried Mom, Jackie Weaver) is determined to win his wife back. How do family and friends react to the “new” Pat? In all different ways, but Pat is blessed with some truly great support.

Enter Tiffany (a “look out world, I’m only going to get better at this” Jennifer Lawrence) for one of the plainest “meet cutes” ever--but it’s perfect because these two have no use for niceties and conventions. They don’t even know how to do them. Tiffany is an unstable young widow who is as unfiltered as Pat (according to Tiffany it’s “telling the truth”). But Pat only has eyes for his wife and enlists Tiffany in his plan to win her back. Since Pat now owes Tiffany, he must join her as her partner in a dance competition which Tiffany thinks is a better plan to get Pat’s wife back. But then things get complicated with Dad’s plans, and all plans converge around an Eagles’ game and the dance competition.

The betting that goes on around these two contests carries with it an incredibly long, convoluted and boring exposition, but no matter, the film had us at “excelsior,” “no negativity,” and “look for the silver lining.”

Will a love relationship develop between these two well-matched misfits and kindred spirits? All I can tell you is that, if it does, it will be in great part because Pat totally respects Tiffany even when she doesn’t respect herself  (and many other men don’t respect her). There’s a beautiful scene to this effect: of a man defending a woman’s honor, rather than just standing aside because she’s “free” to do what she wants.

OTHER STUFF:

--Everyone will be able to relate to Pat and Tiffany. Because we’re all a little crazy.

--Beautiful portrayal of a beautiful chaste relationship (and very physical: dancing).

--There’s a sense of respect, waiting and earning the woman on the man’s part.

--Solid use of Led Zep.

--Great soundtrack—lotsa 60’s & 70’s: Danny “Good Taste” Elfman.

--The precision of Alexander Payne (“The Descendants”), but not as anal (sorry, don’t know how else to phrase it).

--The “R” rating states that there is “nudity,” but not really: a quick shower scene where nothing really shows. Some sex talk and f-bombs, yes.  Common Sense Media says:  for 16+.

--Pssssst. In real life, Jennifer Lawrence is unfiltered, too. J

--Wouldn’t mind if this film wins some Oscars. Like, the actors win.

--Palpable love story. Intense male-female interaction—in every way. When male-female relationships are authentic? Men and women “catechize” each other about God, love and the human in a way no one/nothing else can.

--Hemingway! ha ha ha

--The side characters (the cop, the kid with the FLIP, Tiffany’s brother-in-law, etc.) are all so necessary, fleshed out and hilarious. Julia Stiles is a REVELATION here.

MY FIVE MINOR PROBLEMS WITH THE FILM:

1. One does not simply stick Chris Tucker (who is way overdue for a comeback) in a teeny, tepid, barely-funny role. Thank you.
2. Russell is the master of the "button" (ending the scene with a snappy or funny bit of dialogue or great visual) and then cutting deep into the next scene. He does this throughout “Linings,” but then does one distracting fade-to-black that just bugged me.
3. The convoluted laying out of the bet (parlay) in Act Three.
4. No one likes to be judged (and Jesus told us not to), but Tiffany’s near nymphomania is treated waaaaaaaaaaay too lightly. (It's not shown, only spoken of. Often.) 
5. The climax was so well set up, but it needed to be more twisty. At least a little more. A little too direct. Perhaps.

WOMEN REFLECT ON 40 YEARS OF ABORTION

LIMIT BREAK: BMX

Q: Can someone be a professional BMX biker, med student & Catholic all at the same time?

A: 

(Spirit Juice, of course!)

FIRST FILM / AUDIO RECORDING OF A POPE: 1896!

NOVENA FOR FEAST OF CONVERSION OF ST. PAUL!

Join us! It's number #135. Starts January 16. Since the March for Life coincides with the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul this year, January 25, let's pray it also FOR LIFE!

CHRISTOPHER WEST'S LATEST THEOLOGY OF BODY BOOK!

Trailer by Spirit Juice Studios!
(some camerawork is 4K)

JOHN PAUL II ON CINEMA

SPIRIT JUICE STUDIOS FRIDAY GIVEAWAY

CHICAGO: LENTEN BIBLE STUDY OF THE PSALMS!

OUR FAVORITE SECRET AGENTS ARE BAAAAACK! THE C.I.A...

MOVIES: "LES MISERABLES"

At first, the musical “Les Miserables” kind of assaults the viewer with bumpy, hand-held, close-ups-only camerawork and frantic talk-singing by and about people and events we’re not invested in yet. The first human utterances in the opening scene are actually the grunts of prisoner-slaves who are laboriously pulling in a huge, extremely fake-looking CGI shipwreck via ropes, Volga boatman style. The music is immediately of the offputtingly bombastic variety and sounds like orchestrated cannon volleys. After that, it’s all uphill. I mean that it gets better and better, and slowly sucks you in till you’re crying in three places like I did. (I have heard many unabashed reports from men who have wept during this thing, too.) I didn’t find it emotionally intense or draining—just able to speak well the truth, tell a story beautifully about common experiences, evoking common human emotions. Victor Hugo’s source material is wrung dry, in a good way—like a cup of Maxwell House.

LOOK DOWN!

The film begins and ends with the sung words “Look down!” That is, look down at the suffering, the poor, those who are TOLD to look down, those who don’t dare lift their eyes up to dream…. (There is a feeling of the socially-conscious Dickens’ work to “Les Mis.”) This song reminded me of an article by Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI, that I have never been able to get out of my brain: "The Christ Movement Downward": http://guardianlv.com/2012/08/the-christ-movement-downwards/ 

The nemeses are introduced early: Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe) towers over Jean Valjean (an almost unrecognizably tattered Hugh Jackman) who is under his merciless, but not sadistic, command.  Javert is a man of untempered justice, and has put himself under the law’s impersonal, blind eyes, as well. He believes salvation—of every kind—lies in the letter of the law.

This film is kind of my first exposure to the full story of “Les Mis”! Yes, I am duly ashamed. Never read the book, never saw the stage play. All I knew was that it involved people waving French flags around and a little waif girl seen on all the advertisements. I HAD watched an excellent 1978 version (Anthony Perkins plays Javert!) many years ago—but all I remembered were the Javert vs. Valjean parts. I still recommend this version, simply because there was hardly any dialogue in the whole thing. You had to watch this silent man, Valjean, silently enduring all that he did and silently changing and silently exercising heroic courage and mercy. Almost like mime. NO, JUST KIDDING!!! It was great.

For those still not familiar with the storyline, the crux is how two different men react to similar misfortune. But they are not polar opposites: one an angel, one a demon. Valjean was shown great mercy and kindness by a bishop that was a turning point in his life. He tries to pass this on to everyone he encounters, including Javert, but Javert’s God exacts revenge and punishment. Javert would rather live in this harsh world that he understands rather than live in “Jean Valjean’s world.” Javert is not evil, he is conflicted. He thought he was doing the righteous thing. He is so conflicted in his convictions that he wonders if Valjean is from heaven or hell. He begins to doubt what for him is indubitable. But no one is able to get through to him. Javert felt that to be truly strong and good, one must refuse mercy: FROM others for oneself and TO others. But the question is: Without mercy, how can anyone become a better person?

GOD IS MORE THAN A CHARACTER

There is so much GOD simply and naturally interwoven in the lives of the characters—who were all pretty much believers. God is THE reference point. Different interpretations of what God desires, but He is always just a thought or prayer away. Director Tom Hooper said: “We live in a selfish age, obsessed with how we project various versions of ourselves. But you have to tell this story from the point of view that God exists. And what God means in practice is the act of compassion, the struggle of living your life in a moral way.” It's truly a different mindset.

The action takes off immediately. There’s no dilly-dallying. A colorful, rich, but uncomplicated network of characters enter the story very naturally, and we get to know them very quickly and very intimately—probably because we see the most fateful events of their lives which they then proceed to sing about, revealing their inner discourse to us, something that is usually restricted in the medium of (purist) film.

In fact, EVERYTHING is sung, people! A few running-start spoken words might get us into the song, but this is a musical with a capital “M.” It may sound tiring, but it really works. If you are not a fan of musicals (I am not a foe of musicals, but not a particular fan unless it’s really, really good), it will work even better for you, because instead of enjoying the acting/dialogue and then having that sixth sense suddenly kick in: “Oh no…this is leading up to a song…I can feel a song coming on…oh no, here it comes…oh no, they’re breaking out in song…Arrrggggh!” and waiting in agony for the song to finish, you are just swept along by non-stop singing. The syllables are often extremely short and staccato, almost like speech, so you tend to forget they’re even singing. There are incredible duets and even three or more people singing at one time, in their own scenes, in their own locations, as the song applies to THEM. These parts are just pure genius. You can hear clearly what everyone is singing, and even if their lives might be only remotely connected, the truth is that we ARE all connected by these very, very realistic situations each one finds themselves in: forced to compromise, dire financial straits, tough decisions, unrequited love, separated lovers, begging mercy, showing mercy, paying dues, taking up a cause, etc. There’s kind of “something for everyone,” big chunks of life—without being overstuffed. Totally cohesive and unified plot/execution.

The singing by the well-known cast is MORE than adequate. Each one has a very pleasant, entertaining, expressive voice and ACTS through the song incredibly well.

COMIC RELIEF & THE ONLY FRENCH ACCENT

The songs, as opposed to the musical dialogue, are not your typical choruses/verses/big finales which can be exhausting. They are personal accounts and reactions to the drama going on around the characters. There is also comic relief in the likes of two married con-artists played to the nines by Helena Bonham-Carter and the subversive Sacha Baron Cohen. I couldn’t get enough.  And may I say: there were so many Brits in this film that were singing all cockney all the time that I had to keep reminding myself: France. This is France. Sacha Baron Cohen was the ONLY one who bothered to attempt a French accent. To good effect, I might add. Sacha needs to stay with his cleaned up act and do more of this kind of acting. Like he did in “Hugo.” Cast the man in his own non-offensive funny film. I know that may be doing violence to how Sacha sees himself, what he prefers to do, but he’s just so good at this stuff.

There is a certain grittiness to the film. It’s “digital dark,” “dubious digital focus,” and skin is often exposed without makeup. The actors often drool and spit as they sing. Yes. Like opera singers probably do. Except you don’t get to WATCH opera singers drool and spit at close range. BUT because of the often ferocious emotion, you, too, would drool and spit. Trust me, it sounds gross, but it’s not THAT gross. Poor people are very scabby. And then there’s that rendezvous in the poop-plugged sewers. Blocking: the actor-singers are actually very confined to one little place when they sing—which is constantly, of course. The camera swoops around over rooftops, but the people? They really don’t move around too much.

What was up with Russell Crowe? He seemed very unconfident of his very nice singing voice and he didn’t act one iota. I mean he just stood there like cardboard. Linoleum. Flat. Dead. Listless. Lackluster. Dude!

MORE THAN A BACKDROP

“Les Mis” is MORE than “set against a backdrop.” The backdrop—that of an uprising in France in 1815 (after the French Revolution)--is an integral part of each character’s  story, even though some situations/circumstances, such as poverty, are universal and repeat themselves in every time and place. Hugo’s novel explains the historical/political at length, but the film was sorely lacking in even the most rudimentary explanations. What exactly were they rising up AGAINST (besides some nebulous injustice, inequality), what exactly were they fighting FOR (what were their demands, goals)? Fascinating to remember, “Les Mis” first published in 1862: pre-Darwin (“Origin of Species” was just published in 1859), pre-Marx, pre-Communism, pre-Socialism, pre-World Wars (however, the first “modern war” was the devastating Crimean War: 1853-1856), pre-liberation theology. Beyond practicing charity required of us by God and the Gospel, how urgent to know and live the Church's social teaching!

The overall question posed to us seems to be: Who are YOU in “Les Mis”?

OTHER STUFF:

--You do realize that Director Tom Hooper’s “King’s Speech” won Best Picture, 2011 Academy Awards?

--Tom Hooper filmed the singing LIVE (never been done before). The actors had little earpieces with a piano track with which they sang to in the scene. Full orchestra was added later. The actors LOVED it because it wasn’t canned. THE DIFFERENCE REALLY, REALLY SHOWS. RAW EMOTION. RAW PERFORMANCES.

--Where did I cry? Fantine’s song about broken dreams, Valjean’s song blessing his future son-in-law as he sleeps, Valjean’s song asking God to take him home.

--If Valjean went to the convent at the end of his life, they should have showed the nuns again. Just sayin.’ We nuns need all the screen time we can get.

--Great, soul-stirring, crowd-stirring chants of the “angry young men.” Makes revolution look cool. Sigh.

--My theater--filled with rowdy, munching young adults--got more and more hushed as film went on. And then came the sniffles.

--It amazes me how—in this day and age—people still just love to watch people simply singing: “American Idol,” “The Voice,” musicals, etc.

--THEOLOGY OF THE BODY: When a man falls in love, he is “lost.” The woman is “found.”

--THEOLOGY OF THE BODY: Eponine’s song, realizing Marius is not in love with her, is a great illustration of “women’s fantasy.”

--Valjean has no lady love. Celibate hero? If so, why? Like "Van Helsing"? (Also Hugh Jackman)

--Was quite heartwarming to see a good bishop as a pivotal character.

--Valjean dreads the day some young man “comes for” his little Cosette! Ha ha. Every Daddy’s nightmare.

--Why is Cosette the IMAGE of "Les Mis" rather than Jean Valjean? Perhaps because she changed him more than anything, anyone else.

--“The quality of mercy is not strained” (Shakespeare). When mercy is shown in “Les Mis,” it is never to shame anyone. It’s dignified. Unconditional. Valjean knows that Javert is all about duty, so he tells him: “I don’t fault you. You did your duty,” thus affirming him, theoretically making it easier for him to accept mercy.

--The very, very end went back to the uprising, which felt a little political, even though they were singing about beating ploughshares into pruning hooks and “no more war.” And maybe that was the point. The people of God will rise. Focus on the (poor) people ("the miserable ones"). From focus on Valjean to the people. Everyone.

--The great thing about this musical is that everything, everyone that needs to be--is elegized. That’s one of the beauties and functions of art: to slow everything down and take that time to reflect and say what should be said, what needs to be said, what deserves to be said.

MOVIE REVIEW FORMAT?

Sooooo I may be doing VIDEO MOVIE REVIEWS with a fellow (mystery) reviewer! What would be a good FORMAT? If we like your format you will get a s/o! Oh, and NAME for show? Thank you!

DADDY RAP

I'm a Daddy and I Know It - Awesome Parody! from keephopealive on GodTube.

GAY MARRIAGE? WHY NOT? (PART 2)

GAY MARRIAGE? WHY NOT? (PART 1)

SILENT NIGHT. HOLY NIGHT. FUNKY NIGHT.

MOVIES: "THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED ADVENTURE" (PART ONE)

The film adaptation of the beloved J.R.R. Tolkien classic, “The Hobbit,” has finally made it to the silver screen as a part one: “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.” Running at two hours and forty-five minutes, it shouldn’t disappoint fans of the Middle-earth fantasy. “The Hobbit” is, of course, the prequel to the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy of films: “The Fellowship of the Ring,” “The Two Towers,” and “The Return of the King.”

Gandalf the Grey (a wizard, played by the made-for-the-role Ian McKellen) invites the homebody hobbit, Bilbo Baggins (an impeccable, humble and nuanced performance by Martin Freeman), on an “adventure.” Baggins declines, but suddenly finds his hobbit hole filled with dwarves intent on a quest to win back their homeland which was taken over by the evil dragon Smaug (which the British actors pronounce very painfully: S-M-O-WWW-G). A hobbit is needed for the journey because the dragon (and assorted nefarious creatures they will meet along the way such as orcs and goblins and trolls, oh my!) isn’t used to the smell of hobbit, and being tiny, Bilbo will be able to slip around unnoticed. The “dwarf prince” doesn’t want Bilbo along, thinking he will be a burden because he is not a warrior. But Gandalf believes in Bilbo.

There are many, many action scenes and battles and one perilous predicament after another. However, the scenes are so carefully planned out, easy-to-follow, and truly interesting that our attention is held. This is not just generic swashbuckling and sword clashing. (There are many different kinds of swords in “The Hobbit.” Swords are a Big Deal.) The intense action scenes lead us from one stage of the journey to the next. We never know what our little band will encounter as they advance through diverse terrain.

At times, it almost seems that Tolkien has the mind of a child or an animator (where everything is alive, everything comes to life, even the mountains)! There is an amazing interplay of species, and animals/nature are either corralled for the service of evil or good.

There are two extremely long scenes that seemed to be smaller plot points than others: One where Bilbo tries to save the dwarves from being eaten by trolls, and the scene with Gollum and the ring in the cave. But the acting, dialogue and overall execution is so captivating, it didn’t really matter. The movie is long but never tedious.

Tolkien was a devout Catholic (and even helped translate the Jerusalem Bible), and his fantasies were really “the moral imagination” at play. Multitudes of readers have found deep purpose, hope and meaning for their lives in his yarns.

“Out of the darkness of my life, so much frustrated, I put before you the one great thing to love on earth: the Blessed Sacrament.… There you will find romance, glory, honour, fidelity, and the true way of all your loves on earth….” –J.R.R. Tolkien 

(Apparently it's from a published collection of Tolkien's letters: http://www.amazon.com/Letters-J-R-R-Tolkien-J-R/dp/0618056998.)

OTHER STUFF:

--Man, those orcs are ugly. But the goblins are uglier.

--OK, so I just have to describe the ugliness of the goblin king. He had a beard, but it wasn’t hair, it was flesh! Like a huge goiter hanging down. Groddy to the max!

--When Gandalf was uncertain, afraid, whom did he turn to? Galadriel! “A strong man of God appreciates the strength of a woman of God.” –Pastor Rick Warren

--I feel so relieved. I was beginning to think I was a moral flibbertigibbet* because after reading The Hobbit 5 times as a teen and the Trilogy about 3 times, I just DID NOT GET THE LOTR FILMS. Like the Star Wars movies, I couldn’t get past the first film. I think my problem—for LOTR—had something to do with Elijah Wood. I felt like I was drowning in his doe eyes for the whole film. I’m sorry. It’s just the way I feel. BUT I redeemed myself to myself by loving, embracing, enjoying and UNDERSTANDING “The Hobbit”! Yay! Maybe I could venture to watch LOTR?

--The whole process of Gandalf-inviting –Bilbo-on-an-adventure is really a wonderful depiction of the unfolding of any vocation/calling. I’m SURE it will be used in the future for that!

--Impromptu songs! Feasting! Dancing! Storytelling! Legends! THIS is true, organic culture.

--Dragons really like gold. They even sleep in it.

--Trolls smell real bad. Too bad my theater didn’t have 4-D. :D

--MOUNTAIN trolls are “slow and stupid.”

--The mountain trolls look exactly the same as the troll in “Snow White and the Huntsman.”

--Great costumes! Great dwarf HAIR! Great sets!

--Accurate American Robin’s song.

--“Evil is always looking for a foothold in this world.” --Gandalf
--“The world is not in your books and maps. The world is out there.” --Gandalf
--“All good stories deserve embellishment.” –Gandalf
--Gandalf has all the good lines.

--The necromancer dude reminded me of “the culture of death.”

--“The dark reign has spread.”

--The birds start returning to the dwarves' mountain after the dwarves set out on the quest and have a few victories….

--This film is VERY WELL-LIT!!!!!!      I heart YOU, PETER JACKSON!!!!!!

--The Irish dwarf (actor James Nesbitt) was the Irish guy in “The Way.” I KNEW IT.

--The eagles at the end looked a lot like golden eagles, but they had white spots on their tails….

This is a photo of a  REAL golden eagle. All Instagram-ed or something.

--New Zeelind iz vewy pwitty.

--Holy flaming pinecones!!!

--Witchcraft makes animals sick.

--As a teen, I read everything I could get my hands on by Tolkien: “Farmer Giles of Ham,” “Smith of Wootton Major,” his Father Christmas letters. But when I got “The Silmarillion” for Christmas, I decided this was too much, it was going too far. I wanted to learn about REAL history/geography/personages before I delved into mythological history/geography/personages.

--I FIRST heard, yes, “heard” “The Hobbit” when I was about 9 years old and was being babysat by the teenage maids at HoJo’s Motor Lodge in Amherst, Massachusetts, where my father would attend summer classes at U Mass Amherst to be an Assessor, and we’d vacation at the Howard Johnson’s. (They had a great pool.) These teen maids were kind of bohemian and we’d sit on the floor of the laundry room, backs against the washing machines and they’d read to my brother and I. We LOVED the Sphinx-y riddle-contest between Gollum and Bilbo, and it was so thrilling to hear it in the movie again after all these years.

--Tolkien should have put more chicks in his stuff. Do not these dwarves have dwarf-wives--at least that they left behind on the homefront? No sightings. No mentions. (It's OK that there are no female orcs or goblins.) And yet, women really like LOTR, too. Maybe the women Tolkien DOES put in are so awesome and influential that we don't mind? Or maybe we didn't fully notice because we're so used to men's stories?

--I'm thinking of including "The Hobbit" in my canon of Important Theology of the Body films. Why? Because, like "Tree of Life" (THE primordial TOB film), "The Hobbit" links all of Creation/the Cosmos together. We ALL share in this drama. No one is unconnected.

_________________
*My friend, Deb Pavelek, even sat beside me for “The Fellowship of the Rings” and tried to explain all the deep metaphors, but it didn’t help.

THE CHRISTMAS BAT: A TRUE STORY

In honor of the Winter Solstice, and back by popular demand, I am reposting...
"The Christmas Bat: A True Story!"
(OK, nobody really asked to see this blogpost again--BUT I have included an Afterword.
Enjoy. Cringe. Laugh. Weep.)

(this is NOT my hand)

Of all the gifts Jesus could give me for Christmas (out of His whole ex nihilo world), He knew I would really, really love a bat. I'm serious. I love all His little critters (except roaches). It was Sunday, December 21, 2008, the Winter Solstice, broad daylight, about zero degrees, and I was walking to Mass between Chicago's Daley Center and the Christkindlmarket at Daley Plaza, when a tiny little bat came flying straight at my midriff. At first I thought it was a little bird, but it was too thin—like a boomerang—and a super graceful double-jointed flyer. I realized immediately it was a bat. As I said, I have always loved bats, and this was a total GOD moment. Everything slowed down and it was as if he was flying in slow motion toward me. It was as if this little guy was CHOOSING me to help him and GOD was choosing me to help His little creature at the same time. It was like 3-D Cartesian coordinates.

FWUMP! He swooped up and landed on my chest, fluttered himself down to the ground, huddled on his stomach next to my boot, tucking his wings under his body, shivering for all he was worth. He was quite tiny, his body only three inches long. What could I do? I picked up this pitiful, but feisty little BLACK bat (with some silver fur on his back). I assumed that most bats around Chicago would be the common BROWN bat, so I thought: Hmmmm, he's probably a migrator. Obviously, he had not gotten the memo to migrate about, oh, two months ago.

A guard inside the closed Daley Center banged on the glass: "Is that a bat??" "Yes!" "Can I see him?" By now, baby bat had perked right up, getting warm in my cupped gloves. I put his little face against the window: pinpoint black eyes, pig snout, little bat teeth that he kept licking. He began nibbling on the leather inset of my glove. I thought: Hmmmm. I hope he doesn't have rabies. I tried to get the guard to take him inside, but she wasn't having any of that. "I'm taking him to church!" I declared. "What?" "Church! I'm taking him to church!" So off we went to St. Peter's in the Loop. If someone was going to ask me what I was holding, I was all ready to say "a bird," so they wouldn't freak out. I found an unused corner of the basement where I tried to get him to snuggle in my gloves until after Mass. But, being the bat that he was, he promptly jammed himself behind a podium (Ah! Like a crevice in a cave!) and began hibernating. OK, so what we have here is "bats in the basement" instead of "bats in the belfry." (It's amazing the number of bat puns you can come up with without even trying.)

After Mass, I grabbed Brother Gary (jazz pianist extraordinaire). "Hey, Brother, can I show you something?" "Sure." "You're Franciscan, you like animals, right?" "Um, yeah." "Like, you're not afraid of bats, right?" "Well…." I showed him his little houseguest. "I'll call some wildlife refuge if you can just leave him here for now." "Er, OK." (Brother Gary heroically kept the secret to himself until after the bat was well on his way to the "bat man," but I'm getting ahead of the story.)

On Monday, I looked online for "wildlife refuges" in the Chicago area. I found plenty, but they all said "no bats." They took "possums, skunks, squirrels, raccoons, mongoose, rats, snakes, Tasmanian devils, alligators, komodo dragons," etc. but "no bats." I couldn't figure out why bats were such pariahs. I love bats. Finally the Willowbrook Wildlife Refuge gave me a hot tip: Call the "bat man." After the WWR hung up they called me back immediately: "You're not touching this bat with your hands, are you?" "No, I have gloves." "Really thick gloves? You don't want to mess with rabies." [They were really thin gloves.] Me: "Ha ha! If I get rabies, I'll just get the tetanus shot." WWR: [Moment of silence.] "Um, no. Tetanus has nothing to do with rabies. [Somewhere along the line in my life I had gotten some very bad intel.] Rabies is basically fatal. You die. The only person to survive that we know of is a little girl in Wisconsin. They induced a coma. She was in a coma for a whole year." I was beginning to see the light regarding "No bats need apply."

Jim Rowles of Hinsdale, IL, DOES bats, aka "bat rehab." I called him forthwith. He sounded elderly. He had been out shoveling snow. At present, he had two bats hibernating in his garage that he was afraid he was "stuck with." When I inquired why he said he couldn't release them in the Spring he said: "Because one has a broken wing, and the other isn't playing with a full deck." He told me to call the "Bird Collision" people downtown. They could gather the bat and bring him to Hinsdale. He told me I had the right "battitude," and "thanks for looking out for the little guys." Turns out the "little guy" who befriended me is a Silver-haired Bat, Lasionycteris noctivagans, who likes to winter in Texas. "This species is migratory, at least in part. It spends the summer in northern latitudes and winters toward the south, even crossing several hundred kilometers of ocean to reach Bermuda. Surprisingly few winter records are available; thus, the mystery of just where these bats spend the winter is still not completely solved." Easy! Daley Plaza, the Franciscans, and the bat guy's!

A young woman from Bird Collision rode the train, woke our little guy up, placed him in a box, and took him on the first and last CTA ride of his life to the "bat guy."

"Silver Bats! Silver Bats! It's Christmastime in Chicago!" Well, isn't it appropriate? This is the Dark Knight's REAL Gotham City after all….

AFTERWORD

The more I thought about rabies, the more nervous I got. I was reading up about symptoms and effects and it was truly horrific: people chained to beds screaming and dying and slowly going mad. I called the lady at the Willowbrook Wildlife Refuge again. "Soooo...how does one get rabies again?" "Bat spit. People think it's the bite, but it's really the spit." Flashbacks of my little friend nibbling on my gloves with his super-miniscule teeth, and then me removing my gloves with MY teeth--as I always do--flashed through my mind like a strobe light. Me: "Sooooo...how does one get tested for rabies?" "Oh, you don't really. By the time you test positive for rabies, it's too late. You need to be treated right away if there's any doubt." The treatments were way costly (I don't have health insurance) and seemed like a real hassle. Wildlife lady: "The other way to find out if you were exposed to rabies is to test the bat if that's still possible." How do they test the bat? [WARNING TO BAT LOVERS AND SENSITIVE SOULS: COVER YOUR EYES FOR THIS NEXT PART.] They cut its little head off and examine its brain matter. It's the only way they can know for sure. 

Well, with heavy heart, I arranged with the Board of Health for the little guy to give up his life for me. There was a huge battle with various counties and jurisdictions, and at one point I thought the poor old bat man was going to jail because one county said he had to have more than just a wildlife license but a bat license (these little guys are really in their own category) and what he was doing was illegal. Turned out that that county did NOT have jurisdiction, and the county that DID was on very friendly terms with the bat man already, and the bat man DID have a bat license. However, all did not go smoothly as the bat man was LOATHE to hand over the doomed winged-one and put up quite a fight.

In conclusion, I waited on pins and needles and finally received the phone call that the bat did NOT have rabies. I was relieved, of course, but sorrowful. The lesson I truly felt God was telling me from this is: "Look. This little bat is gone now (because of you). His life is over. What are you doing with your life? Do you treasure every second and use it well?" Turns out the bat may have had a disease that is ravaging the bat population called "white nose syndrome," http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_nose_syndrome a kind of fungus that disorients the bat, wakes them up from hibernation (which is very dangerous because then they need to eat and there's no food and they die).

RIP, little guy.