MOVIES: “NO GREATER LOVE” (DVD)

A new Christian movie about marriage has been released called "No Greater Love" (straight to DVD). I was sent a screener and was extremely disappointed. "No Greater Love" starts the same way the excellent Christian marriage movie, "Fireproof," does—with major marital discord. However, NGL is no "Fireproof."

At the beginning of NGL, husband Jeff (Anthony Tyler Quinn) and wife Heather (Danielle Bisutti) fight over Jeff's stubborn dedication to work, which often takes him away from home. Heather descends into a spiral of substance abuse and disappears, leaving Jeff with their young son, Ethan (the pre-adolescent Ethan is played by a talented Aaron Sanders). It's a smartly-done exposition, but then the story logic and emotional timbre unravel from here on out and the whole movie screams ideology. That horrible kind of religious ideology that subordinates the truly human (and therefore truly godly) to misguided derivative platitudes that end up denying the truly human. This is the kind of ethos that makes non-Christians (rightly) run as far away as they can from Christianity. NGL confirms their (mistaken) fears that God wants to obliterate our personhood, squelch our humanity, and turn us into robotic, irrational, uncompassionate religious operatives.

Where to begin? The writing, especially the dialogue, is often stultified and doesn't flow. Genuine reactions to new information do not happen. E.g., when Jeff tells his girlfriend (Heather has been gone for about ten years) of Heather's disappearance, she doesn't ask right away if there are any clues to her whereabouts. She asks this later. This is called the writer's objective rather than the character's objective. The writer's objective must always take second place, or rather be hidden in the character's objective, but we see it baldly throughout NGL. SPOILER ALERT: When Jeff and Heather finally meet again, Heather has become a Christian (while Jeff is not). Heather is strangely detached from wanting to see her son, and the first place Jeff takes her is to see a friend of his. When she is finally reunited with her son, she is more than willing to abandon him again if it's "God's will" that she move to another State. ("God's will" is discerned by an extremely deterministic notion: If God allows this or that to happen, then this or that course of action MUST be taken. There is very little room for reason, intelligence, free will, or even kindness and love.)

Strangest of all, however, is how marriage is viewed. Even though Jeff and Heather's marriage was not a Christian marriage, marriage is a natural institution, and hardly anything is said about the essence of marriage. The only thing that determines whether or not Jeff and Heather are actually married is the question of whether or not Jeff signed the divorce papers, and even though this is technically correct for a non-Christian/non-sacramental marriage, it is all rather cold and clinical (as well as requiring of the audience a breadth of knowledge about the institution of marriage). And later, when Heather's pastor and his wife urge Heather to stay with Jeff, it seems mainly to "influence" him and hopefully make him a Christian.

As a mini-refresher on the sacramental, and therefore Catholic, understanding of Christian marriage: it's indissoluble. Civil divorce is "allowed" by the Church for legal reasons (property, child support and custody, etc.), but divorce itself is not recognized by the Church because it's not recognized by Jesus. Why not? Because marriage is meant to reflect the faithful, forever bond of Christ and His Church, that is, marriage is meant to show us how God loves us. But we're only human and sinful and life is messy and sometimes married couples can no longer live together. Terrible things can happen. Yes, and so separating may be necessary.

What about annulment? Isn't that just "Catholic divorce"? No. An annulment says that the necessary grounds for marriage did not exist from the get-go (although none of the parties involved knew it at the time). So there was never a true marriage in the first place. But doesn't that make one's children "illegitimate"? Absolutely not. Again, "illegitimate" is a civil, legal term and concept. Human beings can't be "illegitimate" in God's eyes (and shouldn't be in ours). It's only the State that calls children "illegitimate" if there was no legal bond between parents when the child was born. So, you mean to tell me that because there have been hundreds of thousands of annulments granted by the Catholic Church in the U.S. (in the 20^th century), that there have been that many "never was" marriages? Ah, here's where it gets problematic. Has there been an abuse of giving out easy annulments* in the U.S.? Oh yes. John Paul II addressed this many times during his pontificate. At one point he even appealed to the couples requesting annulments themselves and asked that they really examine their consciences as to whether the conditions for valid marriage existed when they got married. (For example, if couples just keep vaguely claiming that they were immature or not psychologically ready—at whatever age—just about every married couple could say that. All of life is a growth process.)

NGL leans toward a kind of Christian fundamentalism. Christian fundamentalists purport to "take the Bible literally," which, of course, they do not. Otherwise they would have chopped their hands off and plucked their eyes out when last they sinned with them. They also do not take Jesus' teaching against divorce literally. However, we know that the Bible DOES have to be taken literally ACCORDING to the literary genre and MEANING God intended. Which is why we need the Church, "the pillar and bulwark of truth" (1 Timothy 3:15) to help us INTERPRET Scripture, otherwise we become like "sheep without a shepherd, each going its own way" (Isaiah 53:6) and we wind up with 30,000 Christian denominations—and counting—in the USA alone. When we cut ourselves off from Peter, our Jesus-appointed shepherd (and his successor, our "German shepherd"), we can come to the oddest conclusions on our own.

How does NGL lean toward fundamentalism? By taking "literally" the passage from Ephesians 5: "…wives obey your husbands." I just love it. This one line is frequently excerpted from the whole passage which includes: "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church." Whoa! What a big bill to fill! A professor at a small, orthodox Catholic college I attended said: "Technically, if husbands aren't loving their wives as Christ loves the Church, why should wives obey them?" Also, the MUTUALITY of love and marriage is missed (by taking only one sentence out of its context): "Submit to ONE ANOTHER out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). Heather begins "obeying" Jeff in all matters. Asking him what he wants her to do in every little situation, which, appropriately, drives Jeff nuts. Until the pastor explains what she is doing. In fact, Heather's whole demeanor now is that of a demure, shrinking violet.

From a story-telling point of view, there are several large flaws. One is that Heather protests she tried but couldn't find Jeff and Ethan (even though they eventually ended up living in the same town under their own names and Jeff owned a business). In an age of Google, this is just not probable. Another is that it's emphasized that Jeff has not mended his workaholic ways, and this continues to greatly disturb Heather, but then the issue is dropped and never dealt with. There's an attempt to apply 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 (about non-believers married to believers) to Jeff and Heather's situation, which makes the plot points obscure and technical (never a good thing), not to mention, confusing.

I would have just dismissed NGL as an unfortunate attempt to make a movie in support of fidelity in marriage, but when two well-known Catholic media companies began promoting NGL as a wonderful movie on marriage, I became alarmed. I even checked with one company to make sure it was Catholic and not simply Christian. I called them up and asked if they had seen the movie or if they had any theologians on staff who vetted whatever they were promoting. Thus, this review.

We need to make sure that in our enthusiasm for Christian entertainment and the promoting of Christian values and outcomes, we don't begin compromising quality and the fullness of truth. We don't need to. We can't afford to. The end doesn't justify the means.

Be on the lookout for a new movie by the producers of "Fireproof" called "Courageous." It's about fatherhood. Here's hoping it will be as great as "Fireproof"! http://www.courageousthemovie.com/

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*Things are somewhat better now, but in the 70's and 80's, certain dioceses were known for their McAnnulments.

FINDING TRUE LOVE IN THE MEDIA

Here at Texas A & M, we had a Theology of the Body presentation filled with film and TV clips, all illustrating negatively or positively "God's Five F's of True Love."

The body/sex speaks a language and it says:

"THE OTHER"--male person to female person, female person to male person (not treating each other as things) FUNDAMENTAL

"YES"--FREE

"YOU ONLY"--exclusive, total gift, mutual exchange (marriage) FULL

"FOREVER"--commitment FAITHFUL

"YES"--open to new life FRUITFUL

When these elements are not present, the language of the body/sex can be spoken as a lie.

6 THEOLOGY OF THE BODY MOVIES:

--Juno

--Benjamin Button

--Painted Veil (good portrayal of nunnies, too!) relationship in trouble, mostly woman's fault

--Not Easily Broken relationship in trouble, mostly woman's fault

--Fireproof (the best TOB movie ever!) relationship in trouble, mostly man's fault

--Wall-E ("E--V--A!!!")

We showed clips from lots of other movies also.

The reaction was fascinating. When asked what romance movies the guys liked, they said: "The Empire Strikes Back." Me: "That's not a love story." Dude: "To us it is." Another dude offered: "Braveheart"? Then a bunch of dudes: "We don't like romances." Yet another dude: "A Walk to Remember." One dude: "Yeah, we like it cuz the girl DIES at the end." Ha ha. (Can someone please tell me why this movie is so popular with guys and girls alike? It just looks like a weepy, dime-a-dozen chick flick to me, but it has consistently hit a nerve.)

When the girls shouted out that they love "The Notebook," the guys boo-ed it down. Me: "Why don't you like it?" "It was all about him having sex with her." Hmmmmm. (These were fairly devout guys.)

"Life is Beautiful" wrapped up the clips. ("Buon Giorno, Princepessa!") "Is every woman a princess"? "YES!!!" squealed the girls. "Is every man a prince?" Nothing. Girl: "Well, some of them are...." Me: "Hey, is God our King?" "YES!" "Are we children of God?" "YES!" "Then what does that make us????" Girls (reluctantly): "Princesses and princes." Me: "We're royalty. Let's act like it."

MOVIES: "FIREPROOF"

YYY1/2

"Fireproof" is the story of two strangers living in the same house. And they're married. The metaphor of firefighters "never leaving their partner behind" fits perfectly. Caleb (Kirk Cameron) is a fireman married to Catherine (Erin Bethea) for seven years, and their relationship is in serious trouble. On fire. In a bad way.  

Caleb, although a heroic lifesaver, isn't terribly heroic in his marriage. He and Catherine have separate schedules, separate bank accounts, separate lives, and Caleb has become demanding and selfish. And if that weren't bad enough, he's addicted to internet porn and Catherine knows it. She tells her mother how humiliating it is and asks: "Since when did I stop being good enough for him?" She confronts Caleb more than once about it, to no avail. Although the problem of internet porn doesn't take over the story, it's a huge hurdle for the relationship. We are shown discreetly and effectively how tempting, easy and available internet porn is, and how radical a cure is sometimes called for.

Catherine is first to throw in the towel. Both have a good sense of their self-worth, so neither is going to let the other trample over them.  They are well-matched for the battle that lies ahead, although they continue to live together for practical reasons. The fights, the hurt, the lack of respect--all rings painfully true. There are literally millions of marriages in this very predicament right now. It is truly hopeless, even when Caleb starts to change, because Caleb's heart isn't in his "changes" and Catherine can feel it. Catherine also misinterprets his every out-of-character move (with the "help" of some well-meaning gal pals). Caleb is being coached by his Dad, who sends him a forty-day "Love Dare" book with daily instructions on how to woo his wife back (something that saved his own marriage), but more importantly, these daily instructions are about how to transform himself into the man and husband he needs to be permanently. Is nothing Catherine's fault? Basically, no, except the fact that she takes up with a doctor at the hospital where she works, while still married to Caleb.

"Fireproof" screams that working at a marriage—especially one on the rocks—is very, very hard work that takes lots of time and patience. But the film also provides a roadmap that either a husband or wife can use. And of course, everyone is going to want this book tie-in! Actually, there are two books: "Love Dare" and "Fireproof: the Novel."  www.fireproofmymarriage.com offers lots of resources for home, school and church. (I'm surprised the classic "His Needs, Her Needs" wasn't listed.)

Theology of the Body (John Paul II) enthusiasts will be delighted by this film. Without explicitly saying it, the film revolves around a key TOB passage, Ephesians 5. Marriage between a man and woman has a direct correlation to Christ and the Church.

When push literally comes to shove, there's no way around God. When Caleb tries to justify himself as a "good person" to his father, his father simply asks him, but do you love God, the God who gave you life? Whoa. Thank God for these fearless filmmaking Christians who are getting better and better at bringing the Good News to the screen. For every ninety-nine scoffers, there will be one who hears the message of salvation loud and clear. And repents.  And the angels shall dance and rejoice.

This scene of Caleb with his Dad is really the crux of the whole film. And it involves a big crux (you'll get it when you see the film). And I just have to quote Dad here: "God's standards are so high that He considers anger to be murder and lust to be adultery." Whoa again. I would put it a different way and say simply that our interior life is as real as our exterior life. It's not so much "God's standards" as "simple reality." To paraphrase Jack Nicholson: "Can you handle reality?" Lots of great advice and wisdom in this film: "You can't just follow your heart. Your heart can be deceived. You have to lead your heart."

"Fireproof" is definitely a "Christian" film—there are lots of portrayals of people of faith, Bible quotes, prayer, giving one's life to God, etc., far beyond what mainstream films show. Corny? Why should faith be corny? But yes, sometimes. A non-believer unfamiliar with Christianspeak might ask: Do people really talk this way? The answer is, um, yes.  Lots of people.  Are they for real? Indeed. The faith depicted is a kind of Southern Evangelicalism.  It seems that one just "confesses Jesus with one's lips" and that's that (no mention is made of baptism). However, there are no pat answers or easy solutions. We can feel the torture of people who believe they are doing everything right, and yet that's still not good enough. Every Christian who seems to have their life together is also one of the walking wounded. The difficulties tearing at this marriage are the same as everyone else's:  the little everyday attitudes, words and run-ins that belie much bigger deficiencies, and that build up over time into an impasse. Omissions are as important as commissions. Curiously and very effectively, we only see the estranged part of this couple's relationships throughout the entire film, but we know only too well what they have lost, or what could have been.

Perhaps we need a "Christian" genre in film, one that will allow for some detailed, in-depth conversations between characters, rather than just quips. We've been trained to not even want to get down to the nitty-gritty of relationships in films. We get nervous when a soundbite develops into a three-dimensional, reasoned-out motivation. "Fireproof" is not a big talkfest, either. The Kendrick Brothers (who created this film) excel at tense, big action moments like a car wreck on train tracks and a little girl trapped in a burning house. The realism was every bit as good as "Ladder 49." In some ways, "Fireproof" is a profounder "Ladder 49," that forces us to look beyond universally-acknowledged heroism (firefighting) to another dimension of heroism—but every bit as important—the heroism of the heart and hearth. (More fire imagery!)

Isn't it enough to save other people's wives and husbands and children? No. Real men dry the dishes (and not just at the firehouse). (Catherine works full time while Caleb has a much more flexible work week). Is this some kind of Promise Keepers "real men serve their wives"? Yes. But Promise Keepers doesn't have a patent on the "servant king" model. It was started by the first Servant King, Jesus, who laid down His life for His Bride, the Church. Wouldn't it be just ducky to see movies like this on "Lifetime"?

"Fireproof" offers a completely different view of marriage than is commonly accepted today: covenant, not contract. If it isn't working, you don't walk away, you try everything to make it work, even if you are "two different people now," even if "I don't love you any more," because you are both part of something bigger than yourselves here. "Fireproof" successfully lays out the theology of marriage, even the fact that marriage is a natural institution recognized by the Church even if between non-Christians.

The jokes and pranks are rather old, flat and predictable. The soundtrack boasts great ambience music as well as that ubiquitous "Third Day" Contemporary Christian Music sound ("Third Day" also contributed to the soundtrack), and there's a poignant and fitting song about waiting that accompanies an important montage/sequence like a Dalmatian on a fire truck. (This song became the answer to a prayer for me, as I found myself applying Caleb and Catherine's marriage covenant to my own vowed covenant with the Lord!) If the cinematography/editing were just a tad fancier, "Fireproof" would have a complete big screen Hollywood feel.

 "Fireproof" is a well-crafted story with plenty of secrets, questions and twists to keep us guessing. And it never looks away from the pain. There's pretty much solid acting all around, especially from the two leads. The dialogue is some of the most honest I've ever witnessed in a movie (it's the same reason I liked "Brideshead Revisited-- the way characters talked and related to each other was intimate, fleshed out and non-oratorical).  Catherine is truly a "modern" woman, right up to the end.  (Sorry, can't be a spoiler.) The ending is slightly long, but has a GREAT closing shot.

"Fireproof" augurs well for the future of Christian films. (And it doesn't hurt that it was distributed through giant Sony Films.)

NB: The cool graphics of the wedding rings in the title! (The use of wedding rings throughout reminded me of Karol Wojtyla's "Jeweller's Shop.")

The pitch-perfect trailer truly represents the movie. You like? You go see. Check it out on the superbulous website: www.fireproofthemovie.com