September 8, 2012

FALL TV SHOWS 2012



Anything good on TV this Fall? The very word “TV” can conjure up so many different concepts depending on how one uses TV. “TV” does not have to be watched on a television set anymore (although Americans overwhelmingly watched the 2012 Summer Olympics on their TVs) . It can be watched on our iPhone or laptop by going to a website or using an app. We can record up to five shows simultaneously on certain DVRs. Or we can just buy, download or rent an entire season of a particular show that aired five years ago or longer. Our TV choices are endless today. But content is still king, and it’s only the most captivating and watched shows that get to stay on the air.

Why are there so many mediocre new shows put forth each Fall? Shows you just know are going to fail? Because the money is still made through advertising as people rush to try out these new shows in their first few weeks, and through international sales. Scheduling? It’s beyond confusing with new shows having their first episodes rolling out as late as November, and then recess for weeks and start up again.

The scope and quality of shows differs greatly. Some shows (also depending on genre) look like the ephemeral media that they are(“Two Broke Girls”), others look like the finest in costly cinematic productions ("Cold Case," “White Collar,” “NCIS,” “Mad Men,” “Burn Notice”). Some shows are still basically sweet and innocent even in this day and age (“Psych”), and others are consistently assaulting and continually pushing the raunch-envelope (“Two and a Half Men,” “Family Guy”).

There are plenty of returning, favorite shows this Fall and plenty of new ones.  “Entertainment Weekly,” in their “Fall TV Preview” double-issue recommends these five (I am NOT condoning any of these choices—haven’t seen even previews):
1. Nashville—the music industry
2. Ben and Kate—an adult brother and sister show
3. Elementary—a take-off on Sherlock Holmes in the USA
4. Last Resort—two ballistic submarine officers together on an island (EW swears it works!)
5. The Mindy Project—Mindy Kalling from “The Office” is an OBGYN and party girl (this does NOT bode well)

More shocking violence? More explicit sex? More profanity and crass language? Yes, yes and yes. (There are watchdog groups that track the escalation of these things and the report/outlook is grim.) So why wouldn’t someone just stay away from it all? Because there are gems among the muck, and if we want to be a part of the New Evangelization, we need to know what people are drinking in and where their heads are at so we can engage the culture and offer right remedies and tailored prescriptions for what ails it. But always with prayer and prudence, of course. “Know thyself.” Are certain TV shows occasions of sin for you? (Absolute honesty is essential here.) We are not allowed to do evil that good may result.

EW's predictions for Emmys this year are for edgier fare: "Breaking Bad," "Modern Family," "Louie--comedian Louis C.K.," etc.

An interesting sort of “study” of Fall sitcoms revolving around family life might be:
“Modern Family” vs. “The New Normal.” “Modern Family” portrays a three families: a white, older Dad with a Latina wife and boy, a white gay male couple with an adopted Vietnamese baby, a “traditional” family of Mom, Dad and three kids. “Modern Family” was praised for the fact that it showed up-to-the-minute realistic modern-day details like families bringing iPads and other media devices to the dinner table. “The New Normal,” features a politically-incorrect, crass, loud-mouthed (but “traditional values”) grandmother.  Her daughter and granddaughter are friends with a gay male couple who will be using the daughter as the surrogate for their child. Even the titles of these two shows is telling. The emphasis is on societal changes, the agenda is acceptability, normalization, mainstreaming.  Reality check? Yup, what they’re portraying is true to life, if even among a minority. EW calls "Parenthood" "tender" and "grossly underrated."


I polled my young adult friends on Twitter and Facebook about their favorite TV shows, especially sitcoms, that they consider “morally OK” (not necessarily perfect). Here’s what I got:












Another interesting “study” might be the whole genre of “singles” shows (TV is rife with them!), perhaps thinking about singles living “as” families. Since young people are waiting longer and longer to marry and/or “settle down,” twenty- and thirty-somethings find themselves in all kinds of living arrangements that act as proxy families—neither family-of-origin nor forming-one’s-own-family. More of an unknown-timetable, interim situation. (“How I Met Your Mother,” “The Big Bang Theory,” "New Girl"--there are just so many!)

Starting with, perhaps, “That Girl” (1966-1971), there have always been TV shows about singles, seemingly focusing on women more than men. The stigma of single women as “spinsters” or “old maids” was done away with starting in the early 60’s with the Sexual Revolution and “Cosmopolitan” Magazine editor Helen Gurley Brown’s 1962 book “Sex and the Single Girl."

“The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” and even “Golden Girls” celebrated being happy, fulfilled, female and single. Then came “Sex and the City,” which upped the risqué-factor with a concentration on thirty-something single women’s very active sex lives in NYC (which, unfortunately, is true to life). NYC is also the abortion capital of America. One zip code in Brooklyn has 16 abortions to every 10 births.
As early as 1961, Joan Didion wrote about New York City as a kind of holding pattern (she calls it a “leave of absence”) for young women, where doggedly pursuing their future goals was put on hold to “mess around,” rather prolongedly.

And now we have HBO’s tragic “Girls.” But it’s supposed to be a (poignant) barrel of laughs. “Girls” picks up where “Sex and the City” left off. And things have devolved for…guess who? Women. “Girls” is written and produced by Lea Dunham and stars herself and three other twenty-something girlfriends. The audience is treated to lots of nudity and (purposefully) awkward sex scenes which Lea herself describes (semi-autobiographically) this way: “My girlfriends and I are all in degrading sexual relationships with guys. But we’re all feminists.” The boyfriends expect the girls to act out maneuvers they’ve seen in their porn. Also, tragically, true-to-life. (This also goes for married women today.) The paradox and horror of it all is that these shows are being honest about how things really are, but there is a wholesale ACCEPTANCE, and a carefree “What can you do?” attitude on the part of women. Really? And you’re feminists? Ah, but with so-called absolute sexual freedom, women are ALWAYS the losers, but we have to keep that stiff upper lip and pretend it’s the only way to go, and we can live with it and we’re OK with it and we gotta keep on lovin’ the abuse! Right, ladies? Cuz we’re enlightened. Oh yes, and abortion is funny in “Girls.” One girl gets all giddily excited about “going to her first abortion” (she accompanies a friend). I can HEAR my heart physically breaking.


OTHER STUFF (PURELY SUBJECTIVE AND HIGHLY OPINIONATED):

MY FAVORITE TV SHOWS? (I never just watch TV. I’m always working in front of it, usually at my computer, and only later in the evening.) I’m a huge surfer, watching little bits of everything. But when I put the remote down, I find myself staying on:

--“Dog the Bounty Hunter” (believe it or not, the most Christian show on television, showing forth the mercy of the Father). My all-time favorite TV show, hands down. No one beats the music they use for their soundtracks.

--Real-Life TV (non-sensational following of people in their real lives and unusual jobs, as opposed to Reality-TV which are hyped-up, unnatural set-ups like “Survivor,” “Fear Factor,” “Real Housewives,” etc.)—I like shows like “Pawn Stars,” and anything job-related

--nature/animal shows (Awwwwww)

--news shows (serious ones) or serious talk shows like Tavis Smiley (best interviewer in the biz) and Charlie Rose. “Nightline,” for example, is not a serious news show.

--“Project Runway” (I usually stay far away from competitive shows because they are often so mean and heartbreaking--“PR” can be, too—but Tim Gunn was once voted “nicest man on TV.” and I love the principles of art and design that come out on the show.)

--PBS and educational shows

--Lifetime Movie Network (LMN)—a truly mixed bag, but always a woman’s story! Some are salacious and ridiculous, others extremely intriguing and well-done thrillers or true-life stories. As a screenwriter I’m always studying story structure, character development, dialogue, etc., and LMN is a great place to do that, even though it’s mostly “made for TV.” (They also have lots of fluffy fare produced in Canada and I have a pathological fascination listening to Canadians trying to hide their accents and trying to imitate Americans but they’re just  don’t have the same surreality and delusions of grandeur and pizzazz that we do because they’re so serious and sane and normal and I love trying to guess what part of Canada they’re in and look for red mailboxes and stuff.)

--catch up on any “important” movies (old or new) that I’ve never seen

--and, of course, hockey (but only in season. Those reruns are just sad.)


I HARDLY EVER WATCH:

--DIY shows, gardening shows, cooking shows, home improvement shows (make my head hurt)

--talent contest shows--“American Idol,” “Britain’s Got Talent,” etc.


--late night (morning or daytime) talk shows--(pure silliness of a kind I can’t endure) “Wendy Williams” is just the worst. There is no excuse for that show.


--religious channels/shows--(Unfortunately, usually just too boring. With exceptions.)


--Hallmark Channel—I’m afraid of diabetes




STILL NEEDED: $40,000!





THANK YOU!

September 6, 2012

August 29, 2012

GOT ATHEISTS?


Review of "Cosmic Origins" DVD
(Ignatius Press)

Got atheists? Atheist friends or family, that is? The “stellar” new DVD “Cosmic Origins” might help! Today’s top scientists (many award-winning) weigh in on the mysterious origins of our universe (and a possible beyond). Old and new cosmological theories are presented, leading up to the possibility of an “intelligent Designer.” But the film—being mostly a scientific exploration/explanation--doesn’t harp on “intelligent design,” which, as Cardinal George tells us, belongs more to the realm of philosophy rather than either science or religion. Physics is juxtaposed with a brief consideration of metaphysics. One does not feel bamboozled or railroaded by a sudden “attack” of “religious thought” at the end, where Jesuit priest Robert Spitzer (Magis Institute for Faith & Reason) introduces the concept of a harmonious relationship between science and belief.

The tone is one of informative scientific updating (for the layperson, but without talking down to us). Definitely not an “apologetics” tone. I try to keep up with the latest scientific findings (especially regarding cosmology), but I learned a lot from this film.

The format is diverse: footage of the universe, graphics, interviews, more than one live host, “man-in-the-street” opinions, etc. “Cosmic Origins” never lags. There is a conspicuous presence of young adults (especially the “man-in-the-street” insets, but although it personalizes all the information, I will eat my veil if these AREN’T scripted actors which smacks of inauthenticity. Too bad the filmmakers couldn’t have gotten REAL reactions). Atheism is the fastest growing “religion” among young adults and the “New Atheism” movement is eagerly proselytizing these young minds and hearts. “Unaffiliated” is becoming the preferred category for young adults under “Religion” when filling out forms.

Carl Sagan wanted the average person to be informed about science and was frustrated by what he deemed Americans’ “celebration of ignorance!” Famous “new atheist,” Richard Dawkins, held the position of Oxford’s “Professor of Public Understanding of Science” from 1995 to 2008, which is a lovely-sounding title that I’m all for. However, scientists also need to understand that not everyone is interested in understanding how things work or even the scientific explanation of the origins of the universe. And it can be argued that the average person does not even NEED to know these things to flourish. It could be argued that the average person WOULD benefit much more from knowing what, say, another type of scientist, that is, a medical doctor, knows! Also, we all have our own specialties. Does Dawkins know what a mechanic knows? Can he fix his own car? Sometimes, scientists have a kind of hubris, demanding that everyone bow down to their discipline/field as THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON EARTH.

The universal longing for love, meaning, fulfillment, self-understanding, connection with others, etc., trumps the desire for and acquisition of practical/functional knowledge every time. But this is still not an excuse to be a willful ignoramus. At least be curious about God’s astounding Creation, OK, believers? This might be the first bridge towards reaching atheistic scientists and their followers who ONLY have science (many eschew philosophy along with theology).

One scientist in the film sums it all up by stating that science MUST be open to ALL possibilities, so why not the possibility of a Designer? OR , as Scott Hahn says, at a certain point, a Creator/Designer IS the most logical answer, but because the atheistic-scientific bias and agenda is pre-set, we get the “anything but God” answers, theories, etc.

FEATURED SCIENTISTS: Lisa Randall, Jennifer Wiseman, John Polkinghorne, Owen Gingerich, Stephen Barr, Arno Penzias, Michael Heller

For more information and fancy screening packages: www.CosmicOriginsFilm.com  (distributed by Ignatius Press).

Full disclosure: This film is a production of Barbara Nicolosi’s (my good friend) production company, “Origins Entertainment.” But do you think she even told me about this project?

MORE RESOURCES:

FILMS:
Two other (flawed) films that I highly recommend for those interested in the  atheism/evolutionism/
creationism debates:
--“Expelled” documentary (Ben Stein’s sheer propaganda for the “creationist” position) My review: http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2008/04/movies-expelled-no-intelligence-allowed_07.html#.UD6OvsFlQWM
--“Religulous” documentary (Bill Maher’s sheer propaganda to support his position which is that he really, really, really hopes there’s no God) My review:  http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2008/10/movies-religulous.html#.UD6QYsFlQWM

And here are two very UNflawed DVDs:
--“Creation or Evolution?” VISION VIDEO  Explains general theory of evolution, various particular theories of evolution, macro/micro- evolution. Protestant but consonant with Catholic understandings.
--“Theology of the Body and Evolution” Dr. Richard Sternberg www.theologyofthebody.net

BOOKS:
--“There Is a God: How the World’s Most Notorious Atheist Changed His Mind” Anthony Flew
--“The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief” Francis S. Collins
--“Atheist to Catholic: How Scientists and Philosophers Led Me to the Catholic Church” by Kevin Vost
--“Answering the New Atheism” by Scott Hahn and Benjamin Wiker (written by Hahn and Wiker for 4 Franciscan Univ. Steubenville students led astray by Dawkins’ “The God Delusion.” It brought ‘em back.)
--“Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis (a very small book that has been giving atheists pause for decades!)
--“Atheist Delusions” by David Hart (Orthodox) goes deeply into the atheist mindset and assumptions
--“Can a Smart Person Believe in God?” by Michael Guillen, award-winning Harvard physics prof
--“Faith of the Fatherless—the Psychology of Atheism” by Dr. Paul Vitz
--“The Drama of Atheist Humanism” by Henri de Lubac. What has been atheism’s historical track record? (atheist regimes)
--“Philosophers Who Believe—the Spiritual Journeys of 11 Leading Thinkers”
--"God and Evolution--Science Meets Faith" by Dr. Gerard Verschuuren


SCIENCE AND FAITH AUTHORS:
Nancy Pearcey, John Polkinghorne, Stanley Jaki, Eric Cornell, Robert Augros, Lorenzo Albacete, Francis Collins

YOUTUBES:
--“God Is Dead” Fr. Pontifex debunks certain atheism claims (with stats of millions killed by atheistic governments) http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/06/god-is-dead.html#.UD7PoMFlQWM
--Fr. Barron on the New Atheism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe5kVw9JsYI

NOTABLE ATHEISTS WHO BECAME CHRISTIANS:
--C.S. Lewis--British author, Oxford English professor
--Jacques & Raissa Maritain--French philosophers
--Alisdair MacIntyre—Scottish philosopher
--Anthony Flew—British philosopher (edits philosophical encyclopediae)
--Francis S. Collins—American physician-geneticist, head of the Human Genome Project, present head of National Institutes of Health (NIH)
--Sally Read—famous young British poet
--Leah Libresco--famous young American atheist blogger

OTHER STUFF:
--www.STOQinternational.org =Vatican’s dialogue among science/faith/philosophy (The Pontifical Academy of Sciences, to which Galileo belonged, also has atheists in its ranks like Stephen Hawking.)

--“Light becomes matter”? Whaaa--? If I heard correctly, the Big Bang was, like, this, like, explosion of light photons which, like, BECAME matter? Whaaaa---? I need professional scientific help. My brain is melting.

--Noted Atheist Philosopher Thomas Nagel: "Defenders of Intelligent Design Deserve Our Gratitude"

In September, Oxford University Press officially releases the hardcover version of a new book by renowned philosopher Thomas Nagel at New York University. It's a bombshell.
Already available on Kindle, Nagel's book carries the provocative title Mind and Cosmos: Why the Materialist Neo-Darwinian Conception of Nature Is Almost Certainly False. You read that right: The book's subtitle declares that "the Materialist Neo-Darwinian Conception of Nature Is Almost Certainly False." Nagel is an atheist who is not convinced by the positive case for intelligent design. But he clearly finds the evidence for modern Darwinian theory wanting. Moreover, he is keenly appreciative of the "iconoclasts" of the intelligent design movement for raising a significant challenge to the current scientific orthodoxy. http://www.evolutionnews.org/2012/08/noted_atheist_p063451.html


August 22, 2012

PORN PREVENTION & RECOVERY RESOURCES (updated August 2017)



So what's so bad about porn?

It's an ADDICTION. DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN. You are not stronger than porn. You can't just dabble. It's NOT mind over matter. We are not wired that way.

DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN. You will not be able to stop. You will need bigger and bigger thrills. It will take up all your time and attention. You will lose interest in everything else.

PORN IS MORE ADDICTIVE THAN CRACK COCAINE because the body gets addicted to its own chemicals.

DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN.


Persons--who are the sacred image of God--can never be used.

Even if they want to be.

This includes the porn-user who uses their own body as they use porn. (So even if the IMAGES are CGI, the porn user is using their own body.)

The opposite of love is not hate. It is use: using persons as things, as means to an end. Using persons is against human dignity.

The body is for total, committed, real, true love and relationship.

Porn, plain and simple, is an addiction that destroys true love, and/or makes it impossible. Divorce lawyers are citing it as one of the major factors in more and more break-ups.

Porn also destroys real sex (does not "add spice") because the porn user conditions themselves to respond to images, not real persons. (Addictions never enhance anything anyway, they only detract, distract, damage and destroy.)

Sex (of whatever kind) outside of the marriage relationship is ADDICTIVE (bigger and bigger thrills are needed). Sex within the marriage relationship is BONDING, person to person (and satisfying because sex is about much more than only pleasure within the marriage bond. The human person has the capacity for Infinity within themselves, and male/female committed to each other in true love and true sex, can experience something of the Infinite).

Just like any other addiction, you will never be "cured." You will be in "recovery" for the rest of your life and have to be very careful about all your media use, memory, imagination, what you do with your eyes on a minute-to-minute basis. 

DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN. No one PLANS on getting addicted. Porn addicts say: "If only I had KNOWN this was an addiction, I would never have gotten started." Well, now you know. 

Remember, the two hallmarks of addicts are 1) DENIAL  2) DON'T TOUCH MY ADDICTION.

FIRST STEPS FOR PREVENTION: 

--Theology of the Body www.tinyurl.com/bestTOBresources

--www.PornKillsLove.com, www.FightTheNewDrug.com (hipster sites)

--www.ReclaimSexualHealth.com (free, anonymous online counseling based on the latest brain science, sponsored by the Diocese of Green Bay, WI--based on the secular www.candeobehaviorchange.com website) Lots of information on this site to get started.

--www.IntegrityRestored.com

--ThePornEffect.com (Matt Fradd) Tweet: #freebattleplan for a free e-book! 

--Tabor Life Institute http://www.taborlife.org/ Trains men how to "see" women properly. Teaches everyone how to "see" the human body properly. (Fr. Thomas Loya's institute) 

--"The Interior Gaze: A Remedy for 'Pornovision' and Lust" DVD (Fr. Thomas Loya) http://www.theologyofthebody.net/

FIRST STEPS FOR THE ADDICTED: 
--http://ReclaimSexualHealth.com/ (Catholic, based on the latest science and secular site: http://www.CandeoBehaviorChange.com )

--Sexaholics Anonymous www.sa.org (or a Catholic therapist). SA is also for porn addictions. They use 12 steps and words like "sober."

--Anonymous online-help to retrain the porn-user to use internet well: http://www.CandeoBehaviorChange.com/

GROUPS FOR MEN TO JOIN TO BE ACCOUNTABLE, FIGHT PORN, HELP OTHER MEN:

--www.thekingsmen.us (Catholic)

--www.dads.org (Catholic) 


--www.PornMilitia.blogspot.com  P.erpetually O.ffering R.osaries N.ightly    Twitter: @pornmilitia 

WOMEN USING PORN IS ON THE RISE:
--Vid of young woman explaining how she got started: http://www.pornfreedomnow.com/2012/07/why-young-women-are-now-being-drawn-to.html

--"What I Wish I Knew Before I Started Using Porn"  (from a woman who works in Hollywood)

--Audrey Assad's journey from porn use to freedom: (AUDIO) http://www.theporneffect.com/blog/posts/audrey-assad-s-amazing-talk-for-women-on-porn-addiction

--My review of "Magic Mike": http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/07/movies-magic-mike.html#.UEpgELJlQes

USING ADULT PORN CAN LEAD TO VIEWING CHILD PORN (EVEN FOR NON-PEDOPHILES):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VOr8cbGdx4&list=PL5148AAD9AD668621&index=7&feature=plpp_video

CHILDREN ARE NEWEST CATEGORY OF ADDICTS:
--
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2131799/Children-grow-addicted-online-porn-sites-Third-10-year-olds-seen-explicit-images.html

--Kid shares how he overcame porn use: https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/12-year-old-shares-how-he-got-addicted-to-porn-at-9-and-how-he-got-over-it

--Great porn-fighting tips e-newsletter for parents/grandparents www.protectyoungminds.org

BOOK TO HELP PORN-PROOF KIDS:
--Book to read with kids: "Good Pictures, Bad Pictures" https://www.amazon.ca/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays/dp/0615927335

C-Close my eyes immediately
A-Always tell a trusted adult
N-Name it when I see it

D-Distract myself
O-Order my thinking brain to be the boss! (the boss of my feeling brain)

THE HORRIBLE EFFECTS OF PORN ON CHILDREN:

--http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/144


PORN FILTERS: 
--You need a company that installs it from cyberspace, not you, so no one in your family can change it. Geeks must install custom-made filters for each other because they can easily hack these filters. (I was told this by a geek.)

--www.software4parents.com (collection of ALL different types of safe software for families to choose from) 

--www.besafeonline.com 


--www.covenanteyes.com

--www.xxxchurch.com (This is a very funky, youth-oriented, activist website.) The company emails questionable sites you've surfed (on a particular computer) to an accountable buddy (or girlfriend or spouse) (Christian) 


--www.safeeyes.com (for Mac or PC) 


--www.bsecure.com 


--www.netnanny.com


SEXTING:

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/talking-about-sexting GREAT VIDEO ON WEBSITE

http://www.kysafeschools.org/sexting.html

In-depth NYTimes article about youth and SEXTING. Cases, laws, repercussions - 

DVDs:
 

--"Somebody's Daughter"--2008, testimonies of men in recovery (Christians). Doesn't give much advice or any resources, but is a portrait of porn addiction from the inside out. Includes a pastor and a couple. Very moving. Since they're not Catholic, they don't have the full, beautiful vision of sexuality and Theology of the Body, but it's still a must see. Includes two powerful music videos and some dramatizations. DVD jacket includes the "25 Lies of Pornography" http://www.somebodysdaughter.org/ 

--"The Interior Gaze--A Remedy for Pornovision and Lust"--Byzantine Catholic priest and artist, Fr. Thomas Loya, demonstrates through design and art how to "see" the beauty of the human body as God intended. http://www.theologyofthebody.net/ 


--"Out of the Darkness" 4 in-depth interviews with a former porn star, a former porn addict, a psychologist and an Alfred Kinsey expert. Excellent! (2011) www.anteroompictures.com

--"Face the Darkness, Illuminate the Night," brand new, comprehensive DVD series on porn. Includes interviews with Christopher West. http://www.theologyofthebody.net/ (Not completed yet!)

--"Fireproof"--drama about a fireman whose marriage is on the rocks, partly because of his internet porn use. 


--DVDs for teens: "The Pure Life" by Jason and Crystalina Evert. This series aired on EWTN. NOT hokey, totally fast-paced, in-your-face, relevant, comprehensive. Teen panel. Covers porn, dating, dress, what teens really want, Theology of the Body, media, etc., etc. EXCELLENT! (Also, just check YouTube channel: "jasonevert"


CDs: 
--"Detox" Jason Evert https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/detox

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPxlDPQYSag (Jason Evert on porn)

--"The Pornography Plague and the Path to Christian Purity," Jeff Cavins http://www.ascensionpress.com/ (Catholic) 

--"Cybersex and the Priesthood--Sex, Shame, Addiction," Fr. Stephen Rossetti, PhD, D. Min. http://www.albahouse.org/ (Catholic)

--"Winning the Battle for Sexual Purity," (talk to men) Christopher West (also on DVD). http://www.christopherwest.com/ (Catholic)

BOOKS:

The best, most complete book on porn you'll every read. Busts 24 myths about porn.
Loaded with a bazillion stats and studies.

This book is a must-read for every human being on the planet. The beauty of it is that it doesn't start with or dwell on porn, even. It backs it up to the most basic level of eyes/mind. Written by Evangelical men who struggled with purity issues of all kinds, it's the most practical, down-to-earth, detailed step-by-step battle plan for victory. Chockful of stories and examples.
Women who don't believe that men are actually biologically wired visually and wired differently sexually desperately need to read this book. Women who don't understand how male sexuality works need to read this book.
Women and wives also have their say in this book. Men never blame women in this book. You must read the book to the END to get the full vision of men and women together. The last section (right before the workbook at the end for use in men's groups) is one of the most beautiful descriptions of what marriage is supposed to be (from a man's perspective: the duties of husbands towards wives). This is Theology of the Body at its most helpful.

--"Delivered"--stories of men and women who overcame porn, by Matt Fradd http://mattfradddelivered.com/

--"Cleansed"--life after porn by Texas A&M University campus minister, Marcel LeJeune

--"Drug of the New Millennium--The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use" by Mark Kastleman

--"I Surrender All--Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography"--Christian singer, Clay Crosse, and his wife Renee's story
 


--"The Courage to Be Chaste," by Fr. Groeschel, CFR. A modern classic. Lots of practical tips. 


--"Clean of Heart, Overcoming Habitual Sins Against Purity," by Rosemarie Scott (Forward by Fr. John Harvey, OSFS, founder of Courage) 


--"True Knights: Christian Husbands, Father and Sons," by Kenneth Henderson and Jesse Romero 


--"Porn Nation," sad but true story of how one man had it all and lost it all through internet porn when the internet was brand new. (Author has been on "Oprah," and debates against pro-porn advocates on college campuses.) Scary predictions for future.


--"The Hook and I" by David Cannan. Catholic 12 Steps for porn (a friend of mine in recovery swears by this book)

THERAPISTS/COUNSELORS:
--http://www.maritalhealing.com/ (Catholic) http://www.zenit.org/article-29697?l=english What To Do About Porn--Part I" article from Zenit.org and MaritalHealing.com on step-by-step what to do about porn if husband addicted. Also some current stats. 2010) 

--Dr. Philip Mango (NYC) st_michael@verizon.net Dr. Phil Mango is a licensed Catholic psychotherapist from New York, director of St. Michael's Institute for the Psychological Sciences; founder of Warrior Brothers- focused on leadership and manhood development for service to family, Church and society; and visiting professor at the John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family. For more than 12 years, he served as mental health consultant for Mother Teresa's work with the poor. Dr. Mango combines John Paul II's theology of the body with psychology to effectively minister to men and women seeking to overcoming sexual and pornographic addictions and develop healthy relationships with the opposite sex. He has extensive experience treating PTSD with the most effective treatment known, EMDR- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Areas of Expertise: PTSD, post-abortive, marital healing, masculine spirituality, psychology of the sexes, founder of www.warriorbrothers.org. Available to speak at your parish or event.

--Fr. Thomas Loya (Chicago) http://www.taborlife.org/



--SOAR0136@aol.com "Seeing One Another Rightly"--This group uses Sexaholics Anonymous 12 Step Principles combined with Theology of the Body. Blog: www.SeeingOneAnotherRightly.wordpress.com

WEBSITES:

--www.pornharms.com All the facts and stats.

--www.ReclaimSexualHealth.com Free and confidential help for all sexual addictions (help for family members, those in ministry, etc.). Sponsored by Diocese of Green Bay, WI and based on the latest brain science from www.CandeoBehaviorChange.com 

--www.FightTheNewDrug.com  Young adult website. Swag and merch available.

--www.ThePornEffect.com

--www.freedomfrompornnow.com Lots of helpful, short, shareable articles and vids!

--http://www.faithfulandtrueministries.com/ 

- -www.diocese-kcsj.org/myhousekcsj 


--www.demandyourdignity.com ("Don't Believe the Lies" video by guys in a LifeTeen group in Rhode Island. Very moving!)


INTERNET PRAYER


Dear God, I ask Your help divine
whenever I must go online.
I tell myself that I love "art,"
their sculpted forms, my heavy heart.

As I get lost in cyberspace
and go from face to nameless face,
behind each image, there's a life,
there's someone's husband, someone's wife.

Perhaps a son or daughter, too,
God, if their families only knew
As I'm drawn in to search the net,
it's all too easy to forget

the way my actions take their toll--
they slowly work to kill my soul.
Its essence surely must erode
with every image I download.

Please rescue me from what I do.
Please help me want to stop it, too.
Obsession lifted, I'll stand free,
surrendering my will to Thee.

--written by a Catholic woman in recovery from the S/m lifestyle




PLEASE ALSO SEE "COMMENTS" ON THIS POST FOR MORE RESOURCES.


WHY THEOLOGY OF THE BODY IS GOOD FOR WOMEN--RADIO SHOW WITH GUESTS

August 20, 2012

CHRISTIANS & MUSLIMS IN SYRIA: UNITED AROUND MARY



MARY, THE WAY OF HOPE            
from the Catholic Archbishop of Damascus
(Muslims joined Christians for celebration of the Assumption!)
OUR LADY OF DAMASCUS

It is with anxiety and bitterness that the small Syrian people carry, since March 2011, alone and with courage a so heavy nightmare while waiting for "Simon of Cyrene" ...
To the blind violence, hatred and lack of dialogue.
To the indifference or impotence of the international community this small people turned towards prayer the only and ultimate refuge

On the other side and on the spiritual level and, especially around the Marian shrines, friends have mobilized chains of prayers for the peace in Syria: Our Lady of (Lourdes, Fatima, Fourvière, Walsingham, Laus, Montligeon, Amesterdam, La Salette, Puy,Medjegure, Altotting, Knock, Chateaurima,
Czestochowa, Montreal, Lorette, des Neiges, Guadalupe, du Bac, Seville, Kazan.
 and many others …)
Sick people have offered prayers and pains for peace in Syria …
From these powerful pilgrimage places is emerging a force along, with many "Simon of Cyrene" to help carry the cross and take the road....
Thank you for this beautiful spontaneous solidarity coming from afar to manifest the catholicity of the Church, we must see the work of the Providence, who is not leaving Syria alone in these painful days.

This support of Marian character joins the strong Eastern devotion to Mother of God, connected from one side to the Gospel by a YES that has transformed the History, and connected from the other side by the believers in Jesus- Eucharist who makes the Church. MARY was the guide since the dawn of Christianity. 
On August 15th, 2012, at 18.00 and despite the rather tense situation, many faithful came to the liturgy of the Assumption.
These faithful prostrated before the altar of the Martyrs of Damascus, having one voice, dedicating Syria to the Immaculate Heart of MARY, our surest way of hope.
This pious demarche is towards forgiveness and reconciliation.
To our surprise many Muslims took part in the ceremony.

"HERE IS YOUR MOTHER ..." Jn 19:27
In front of this crisis with no end nor mercy who is putting into question the future and survival of the Christian minority, the Church turns to the Mother of God to draw courage and strength to witness to the Gospel and to facilitate a respectful dialogue with Islam a majority closing a month of fasting that was well bloody. Mary who is venerated in the Koran (Sura Mariam) could be the architect of the so desired Marian peace reconciliation ...
From the bottom of the misery and suffering flows a Hope, a Light ...
THANK YOU MARY.
Summer 2012                                            + Samir NASSAR                                                         Maronite Damascus Archbishop's
                


YOUR THEOLOGY OF THE BODY MOMENT



"It is true that the creature loves less because she is less. But if she loves with her whole being, nothing is lacking where everything is given. To love so ardently then is to share the marriage bond; she cannot love so much and not be totally loved, and it is in the perfect union of two hearts that complete and perfect marriage consists. Or are we to doubt that the soul is loved by the Word first and with a greater love?"
(St. Bernard of Clairvaux)


This Theology of the Body moment has been brought to you by Sr. Julia Mary Darrenkamp, fsp, who finds the most amazing images and quotes on the planet!


August 12, 2012

MOVIES: "HOPE SPRINGS"



“Hope Springs” (not to be confused with “Hope Floats”) is yet another PG-13 film that should have been rated R. It is filled with mature, graphic sex talk and visuals--although there is no nudity and everything happens clothed (hard to explain). It’s almost a sex farce, but actually more of a tragicomedy. Definitely for adults.

Kay (the indescribably, superlatively fabulous Meryl Streep) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones in his best role ever?) are empty-nesters in a relationship with barely a pulse. Arnold appears to be satisfied with things as they are, but Kay is determined that things must change. She signs them up for an intensive couples counseling week with Dr. Feld (a serious Steve Carell). And it’s hard. Years of built-up “scar tissue” needs to be acknowledged, articulated, removed. It’s one step forward and two steps backward.

There’s an “any kind of sex” within marriage* goes ethos (even though this is a pretty conservative couple). Aside from the approval and occasional follow-through of fast and loose sexual mores WITHIN marriage, a deep connection is otherwise maintained between the couples’ physical intimacy and emotional intimacy, without which the marriage is just a “marriage license” and “sharing of bills to be paid.” Both intimacies must come alive again. In a Kay and Arnold way. And in a Theology of the Body way, men and women have different needs, and even as mousy Kay “initiates” the initial action, it’s Arnold, the bridegroom, who MUST sweep her off her feet again or risk losing her forever.

The genius of this film is that there are NO BIG EVENTS. NO BIG REVEALS. NO DEEP, DARK SECRETS. There are no harsh words, no screaming, no throwing things, no ultimatums. The increments of dramatic movement are small and organic. Simple, linear A-story progression. How DO you get the magic back? And what if one partner is less willing than the other to even try?

As wonderful as Meryl Streep is, this is Tommy Lee Jones’ movie all the way. His delivery and timing is beyond perfect. Who knew he had a role like this in him? I wouldn’t be surprised at an Oscar nod.
This film may help those in troubled marriages to realize their marriage is definitely worth working on with everything they’ve got. And the road will be rocky for both sides.

This film screams: Nothing, nothing is more important than a marriage. Your marriage. Marriage.
___________
*"Any kind of sex" as long as it's within marriage and both partners are willing, is not OK. The integrity of the sexual act (or, in TOB: the marital embrace) must always be respected. For nitty-gritty Q & A: "Good News About Sex and Marriage" book by Christopher West.

OTHER STUFF:

--Unusual to see such a dutiful, almost 1950’s, kept-down type of wife being portrayed. Sometimes that felt a bit unrealistic, even though these women certainly do still exist today. But this shrinking violet turns out to be a steel magnolia in her tenacity: not in order to achieve some kind of “self-realization,” but in order that her marriage be a “real” marriage again. She reminds me of an older woman and her husband I had supper with who now teach marriage prep. She told her husband at a certain point in their marriage: “We can have more.” And they set about becoming and getting that “more.”

--SCREENWRITING STRUCTURE’S “KARMIC QUESTION” IN ACT ONE: “CAN you change your marriage?” Kay’s friend says, “no.”

--It was great to follow just one couple’s journey without being able to look away (compared to the slapstick, silly and uninstructive “Couples’ Retreat”).

--Lots of laughs.

--Screenwriter is a woman: Vanessa Taylor!

--Meryl Streep: how women can grow old beautifully and gracefully.

--The renewal of vows! We show our love in the little things.

--“Sometimes when a connection is lost we forget how to want one another.” –Dr. Feld

--“Marriages often have several whole bad years.” –Dr. Feld

--Kay articulates the real reason masturbation is not OK!

-- "Why Men Have Trouble with Intimacy"  (great article, and what "Hope Springs" is really all about!)  

--People sometimes ask me: Do you go to movies in your habit? Yes, because I believe "the Church" has to be where the people are, and the Church desperately needs to be more VISIBLE especially in the ARTS. People rarely ask me what I'm doing or what I thought of a film (I sometimes ask others on the way out). They can see me scribbling during the entire film, so it's kind of obvious I'm "studying" the film in some way. I think nuns should be EVERYWHERE, and I think they used to be--back in the heyday of teaching nuns when Sisters had to know a lot about a lot of things in order to teach about them. (Same for medical Sisters.)

One of our Sisters is studying art and interior design at the Illinois Institute of Art here in Chicago. She is in with all ages of students who accept her as one of their peers. Her professors are the ones who are really fascinated. She explains the mission of our congregation (to evangelize with and through media) and they're even more fascinated. This Sister has had many conversations about God and religion and was able to bring a long-time fallen away architect back to her Catholic Faith. :]

--Was I even a little embarrassed sitting there in my habit (toward the front of the theater) at this movie? Yes. Once I realized that a good portion of the show would be about sex (all in the context of marriage counseling and trying to save a marriage). But 1) I didn't know ahead of time 2) movie reviewing is my job/ministry 3) it was "PG-13" 4) I still believe "the Church" needs to be present 5) it was handled well for the most part 6) sex (being talked about or somewhat portrayed in film) is not a dirty or bad thing (although I believe in very definite limits about what should be portrayed ever, at all) and the realistic balance of body/soul in a marriage relationship was well-captured 7) there was absolutely nothing titillating about the sex talk/visuals. This was an older, awkward couple, and, again, the film is a bit of a sex farce, but not a crude one.

--I believe it’s important to ALWAYS lay out and reiterate MORALITY, MORAL NORMS (e.g., when they are missing, misrepresented, transgressed, etc., in films), especially today because people don’t even know what’s moral/immoral any more. But at the same time, I don’t want to condemn the truly HUMAN. Even if it’s not the BEST of the human. Even if it’s the STRIVING and FAILING human. Grace builds on nature. Yes, let’s call a sin a sin, but let’s not stop seeing the HUMAN, the PERSON beneath the sin. And what CAN be. And what CAN be transformed. The HUMAN that can be transformed.

I will not condemn the truly human. God created human beings good. Even angelic and human sin has not changed that. Luther and Calvin were wrong when they believed that the Fall made us fundamentally bad now. This is NOT the Catholic belief. We are good, inclined to the bad, not bad inclined to the good. The Fall darkened our intellect (MIND), weakened our will  (WILL), and disordered our passions/desires (HEART), but did not make us “utterly depraved.” Everyone is born with original sin which Baptism removes (but we still feel the effects of original sin). Humans are capable of incredible evil, and mixed with the demonic (fallen angelic), even greater evil. But the human can always be redeemed (not so, the demonic). God became incarnate into “human stuff” and it is the “human stuff” that He redeems, body and soul, as it is.

When people are truly clueless, the culpability for sin is mitigated. True, people have consciences, but tell me, who is forming young and not so young people’s consciences today? There is a huge void here (and has been for decades in America), and people’s consciences are unformed, malformed and deformed. People think conscience means: “I do what I think best.” (But conscience is conforming ourselves objectively to God’s Revelation and then being able, subjectively, to hear God’s voice within and apply His Revelation to our lives and particular circumstances.) When we watch films made by non-believers, featuring non-believing actors playing non-believing characters, I believe we must rejoice when they get it right! How can they possibly get it right? God is at work in them whether they know it or not. The mind was MADE for the TRUTH, the will was MADE for the good WAY, the heart was MADE for the LIFE of love. We shouldn’t be TOO surprised when people get it right. (BTW, this is Blessed Fr. James Alberione’s “Jesus, the Divine Master: the Way, the Truth and the Life” spiritual method. The whole Christ to the whole person. The whole person [MIND, WILL, HEART] to the whole Christ.)

“Bad Catholic” (Franciscan University of Steubenville’s wunderkind student blogger, Marc Barnes) posted this yesterday. It is probably the most accurate, in-depth description of Millennial (the cohort) depravity and debauchery by a Millennial (WARNING: it’s very “rough” language). If you want to read it, listen to the SPIRITUAL PAIN. What I would love to tell the band (Titus Andronicus) is this: 

“OK. I get that you’ve tried everything and you’re jaded and disgusted. I hate to disillusion you, but you do not have a corner on sinning: we’re all sinners. I’m sorry if you thought you were special. Now, what are you going to do about it? Cry in your soup? Is there any hope for you? To Jesus through Mary. They are not afraid of human muck. They can turn you around in the twinkling of an eye. 



August 11, 2012

OUR LADY AT THE OLYMPICS