MOVIES: "JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM"

WARNING: SPOILERS THE SIZE OF A BRONTOSAURUS

The latest "Jurassic" installment, "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom," lacks none of the action and heart-pounding fun of its predecessors. As a matter of fact, it's one long chase, pretty much. Humans being chased by hungry dinos, that is. However, I am sad to report that wacky ideology has infiltrated even the mindless, sheer entertainment of our beloved Paleolithic franchise. "Which ideology, pray tell, even fits here?" you may ask.  You guessed it, radical animal rights. Speciesism. (See "The Shape of Water." My review: http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2018/04/movies-shape-of-water.html#.W0gkTdJKiM8.) How dare humans think their lives are more important than gargantuan, predatory beasts with uber-annoying, ear-splitting bellows and screeches who couldn't manage not to go extinct the first time, and were unnaturally and unwisely revived the second time?

Lonely feeling deep inside
Find a corner where I can hide

Here's the plot: The old island Jurassic theme park has been abandoned by humans and is in disrepair. However, the dinosaurs survived and roam freely. But a second extinction is exactly what the mighty living fossils are faced with--not by man, but by an imminently-erupting volcano. The dilemma is: do we let them die or do we try to rescue them? What is the ethical thing to do?

Silent footsteps crowding me
Sudden darkness but I can see
Grabbing for me with her eyes
Now I'm falling from her skies

Naturally, the bleeding-heart animal rights activists (including Claire, played again by Bryce Dallas Howard), with subliminal background signage and messaging in various shots: "SPECIES," "EQUAL," "EQUALITY," "SPECIES" "ENDANGERED," "SPECIES," "SPECIES," "SPECIES," want the creatures to be rescued somehow before Mt. St. Helen's blows her stack. A governmental committee decides to let Real Mother Nature take its course, an "act of God" (one can almost see the sneer quotes). Jeff Goldblum's scientist character weighs in with his level-headed, dispassionate rationale that if what we did was unethical in the first place (bringing the dinos to life again), the dinos getting wiped out is a corrective. (It's not like humans are now choosing to blow these magnificent creatures up ourselves, as our parents used to threaten us: "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it." The question is: should we intervene (once again)?

The film unfolds with big, simplistic dialogue (methinks so the kiddos can follow along), but it's also a mite pedantic (methinks so the kiddos will be indoctrinated). There's quite a bit of what feels like insincere Godtalk.

You're tripping back now to places you've been to
You wonder what you're gonna find
You know you've been wrong but it won't be long
Before you leave 'em all far behind

This film was definitely made by people who hate people. "What the dinos need is for humans to just go away. They would be better off without us." (And they didn't mean humans should just move to another zip code but maybe perhaps we should just bequeath them Earth cuz after all they were here first and we humans should all go to Uranus. JWFK is filled with this kind of insinuation about humans being unworthy-to-live screwups.) We get to see lots and lots of people gored and thrown around and maimed and eaten (and not only the baddies). But the camera, or should I say animatronics/CGI, is very careful not to show us any poor dino getting hurt (it would be too much to bear because dinos are more human than humans and can show "empathy." As one unnamed volatile world superpower leader would say: "Give me a break.") The logical inconsistencies are mind-boggling. Permission to rant?

--If all species are equal, why do they keep feeding poor little chained-up goats to the 'sauruses? Where are the goats' rights activists? Or is it that the biggest kid on the block gets whatever they want (cuz we secretly favor the badass brute)?

--If all species are equal and have equal "rights," where do the carnivorous dinos get off eating each other? If all species are equal, why don't animals live in a vegan world? Someone once sagely pointed out online that allowing a 3-year-old human to "make their own choices" and "freely express themselves" is a lifestyle choice of the parent, not the child. Just like a vegan dog is at the mercy of its owner. But I digress. Or not.

--Rights only apply to persons (and no, corporations should not be treated as persons under the law), because rights imply free will and responsibilities--something animals don't have. Animals should be treated with integrity and kindness, but they may be utilized humanely in the service of humanity, e.g., milk cows, police horses, rescue dogs, service animals, pigs raised for meat, etc.

'Cause it's the new Mother Nature taking over
It's the new splendid lady come to call
It's the new Mother Nature taking over

BIG ENDING SPOILER!!! A little girl makes the choice to hit the big glowy red button that releases the dinos into the human population on the mainland (some had been saved from the island and put in holding pens) AS THE ADULTS STAND BY AND LET A 7-YEAR-OLD DECIDE THE FATE OF HUMANKIND, NODDING SWEETLY TO THE LITTLE HONEY WHOSE COMPASSIONATE REASONING CONSISTS OF "THEY'RE ALIVE LIKE ME...." 

Have you ceased groaning yet? Allow me to respond:

--First: please see the book: "The Collapse of Parenting: Why Treating Our Children Like Adults Is Hurting Them," by Dr. Leonard Sax.

--Second: Dear little girl. Yes, they are alive like you. So are deadly viruses. And, you DO know that these dinos want to eat you for a midnight snack ASAP, right? I MEAN WE SPENT A WHOLE MOVIE WATCHING YOU ESCAPE FROM THEM, AND YOU AND THE SNIVELING ADULTS THAT LET YOU ACTIVATE DOOMSDAY WERE--JUST SECONDS AGO--WILLING TO DO HARM TO THEM AND DID HARM TO THEM SO THAT YOU MIGHT LIVE. WHY THEN DID YOU MAKE US WATCH THIS WHOLE MOVIE ABOUT HUMAN SELF-PRESERVATION WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BEHIND ABOUT YOUR LIFE OR ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING'S LIFE? 

--Third: Why doesn't "it gets to live because it's alive" apply to babies in the womb? Or people in a coma or severely disabled people or people with dementia or the elderly? "It gets to live because it's alive" blows the evil "personhood theory" (a baby in the womb is human and alive, but not a person yet, that's why we can kill it and #PlannedParenthoodSellsBabyParts) out of the water. But should we expect any less from misanthropes?

She's gettin' us all
She's gettin' us all

The future is wide open for a Jurassic sequel where "dinos and humans must learn to COEXIST." BWAHAHA HA HA. I can tell you right now how that ends, too.

OTHER STUFF:

--I agree wholeheartedly with Bishop Barron's take on JWFK:
 https://www.wordonfire.org/resources/article/what-jurassic-world-fallen-kingdom-gets-right-and-wrong/5838/

--Incidentally, yes. We're living in a Fallen Kingdom. But a Fallen-Redeemed Kingdom. :)